This is Why Women Chase Bad Boys - Here is the Blunt Truth Finally Revealed in Front of Your Eyes

Well it's often said that nice guys finish last but a lot of females out there would simply disagree with this statement. They always say that they want nice men but why do they always end up chasing the bad ones? You see it might not apply to every girl out there but majority of women do. There are some shocking reasons most guys are not aware of. Read on to discover what these reasons are and get ready to be shocked...

Bad guys are mostly emotionally stable- Most bad boys out there are some what cold towards emotions and don't give the type of reactions a girl would expect from them. You see this very fact makes a lot of girls think and such men automatically become a rare breed women run after. Unlike nice guys who always show a strong reaction towards a girl's comments and often end up at the receiving end of rejection from girls.

They are hard to get that's why girls have to have them- Put it this way! If there is a great looking girl who always ends up getting a lot of attention from almost every guy out there suddenly ends up being ignored. You see this would raise her curiosity levels as to why this guy didn't pay attention towards me. Therefore the guy becomes an automatic challenge for her and she would pursue him to see what he's really all about.

They work on their own terms- Bad boys don't work on someone else's terms. They make their own route instead of following someone else's. You see when it comes to the matter of nice guys they always end up agreeing with the girl on almost everything and they try to please her in every way possible due to which they come across as any other guy.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know

Fear of Commitment - Love is the Antidote

There was
Something special
About the two of us
The time between us
It was beautiful
And what was
Between us
It was unmistakeable
What happened
Between us
It was purposeful

I drew close
You drew close
Then one day you said
"I am not emotionally available"
I was confused
Said I must walk away
For I was not sure
If it would break my heart
Or it would mend your heart
For I knew
Only the Divine Maker
Had the answer
That moment
You asked
"Must you throw
The baby with the bath water?"
I answered softly
"It did not matter what the outcome
Then lets go with the flow
And see what God does"
Over the weeks
And over the months
It was blissful
It was painful
For you would draw
Closer to me
Then you would withdraw
Further from me
Yet I drew closer
And closer to you
In spite of the pain
I perceived new things
Discerned matters
Beyond my comprehension
We figured out
You were fearful
Of commitment
And I was unafraid
Of abandonment
At least we seemed
A perfect team
We both agreed
Once again
To go with the flow
No matter what
The outcome
We communicated so well
Not once did we argue
Nor brought out the worst
In one another
All the while we cared for
Each other deeply
Of course at times
We agreed
To disagree
With utmost respect
Towards one another
Through the ups
And through the downs
In every challenge
We saw-into-the other
We understood
One another
So well
It was blissful
Intimacy
For the first time
We experienced
What it was meant by
Into-me-see
One weekend
We went far away
Spent more time together
And enjoyed our intimacy
To this day I would claim
That It was undoubtedly
The most wonderful time
I had in my life
It was heavenly
But it only took a week
Since our return
For you to say
Over the phone
That things were not right
And you must step out
I sensed your fear
It was tangible
I did not doubt
I understood
I had no more words
To say to you
Except "I understand"
Before I hung up
I felt the dagger
Go through me
The lump in my throat
Almost choking me
I resolved to withdraw
And give you space
The tears that gushed
You could not see
I sobbed through the night
At my Makers feet
I asked for HIS grace
To overcome
To forgive you
As if you owed me nothing
Once again you did call me
Asked me out
To discuss things
Wisdom spoke
Through my mouth
I challenged you
To sort things out
Until then
Not a hope for us
There is no
Fear in Love
The Maker says
God's perfect love
Drives away
All fear from us
I know it is true
For before you came
Into my life
I asked God
To help me love
As only He could love
You were my challenge
To prove that we could
Love passionately
And live fearlessly
Love is abandonment to self
Love is liberation of self
Love is being other centred
Love is not keeping a record
Of the wrong done
Love does not insist on its own way
Love bears all things
It always hopes
Always endures
Always forgives
Love never ends
It never fails
Real love is only possible
When you are
Christ centred
Love is
Not being afraid to love
Christ gave Himself
On The Cross of Calvary
Even when
There was no guarantee
That any one of us
Would return HIS love
I now know
That it is possible
That it is in our hands
If we so will in our hearts
To love like Christ
For His Spirit enables us
To love passionately
To live fearlessly
This is the adventure
Of love and life
The mystery of
The Christ and His Bride
Revealed in
The man and his wife
When two shall become one
Passionately committed
No matter what
Greater love has no other
Than the one who lays down
His life for the other
God's love is the antidote
To the fear of commitment

Couples Relationship Assessment - Section 7 - Now and Forever - Loving Your Life Together

As you progress through the final section, you might find yourself wondering how you can internalize all of the information presented, transfer the knowledge, and practice it in your daily life.

Many enter marital therapy, coaching, couple's workshops or other programs and seminars with high hopes and good intentions. Too often, they feel frustrated, disillusioned and betrayed when promises fall by the wayside. They move on without any real awareness, skills or techniques they intended to learn.

Following through involves exceedingly more than changing your previous words, actions and behaviors. Real conviction takes constant practice and repetition until the principles and techniques become internalized at such a deep level that they are essential to who you are.

If you are in the midst of relationship distress and turmoil, you will be hard pressed to uncover the true core of your struggle. Becoming glued to everyday surface issues and problems, you will identify with superficial content while ignoring the deeper rhythm of your relationship dance. It is not until you gain the insight and self-awareness to look intensely into your own mirror that you begin "knowing."

No two individuals share the same perspective. Recognition and understanding of your partner's perspectives are precursors to healthy communication. Such insight is also a prerequisite for the feelings of mutual safety, trust, respect, and admiration. Once you begin to understand one another's views of the current state of the relationship, you are in the right position to change and Co-Create the relationship of your dreams.

In Section 7 of the Couples Relationship Assessment, you will score statements that correspond to the following chapters from The Journey from "I-TO-WE".

Chapter 21 - Parent Your Children for Success

New parents typically possess pure and genuine intentions to care for their children in every way possible. They wish to help their kids become happy, successful, loving and confident adults. Parents worry about doing everything correctly and instilling in their children deeply cherished family traditions, values and beliefs. Parents worry about their children from the time they are born. Care and concern never ends.

The majority of parents aim to satisfy the unique needs of their children at each stage of their development. Most invest enormous amounts of time, love and resources into their kids' upbringing. Therefore, they feel annoyed and irritated when their children display defiance, selfishness or disrespect. Parents become confused and even alarmed when they cannot connect with or understand their children. Moreover, parents often feel guilty, ashamed and regretful when they grow frustrated and angry with their children. How can you be different?

Chapter 21 - Parent Your Children for Success

Meanings entail rituals, symbols and structures for you, your relationship and your family. They comprise words, actions, behaviors and objects that hold personal and spiritual significance.

They act as a lighthouse that reminds you where you have been and where you are headed. The beacon is the light of hope and promise for the future. It illuminates the beauty of all you have created together on your journey thus far and presents your chosen path for the future.

Are you ready to begin your journey to gain the awareness, learn the skills and practice the techniques to achieve relationship success at home, at work and within yourself?

Section 7 - Complete steps 1 through 9.

Step 1 - Your perspective of yourself - Rate your degree of agreement with each statement on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being a definite "yes" and 1 being a definite "no." Using a black pen, write your score on the first line to the left of each statement.

Step 2 - Your perspective of your partner - Rate your partner according to how you feel the statement applies to him or her from your perspective. Using a black pen, write your score on the second line to the left of each statement.

Example: 10_ 8_- 1 - I am committed to our relationship.
If you feel you are 100% committed, place a 10 as shown above. If you feel your partner is only 80% committed, place an 8 on the second space.

Step 3 - When you have completed each of the topics, total all of the scores within each topic, and write the number in the space marked Topic Score. When you and your partner have finished scoring your Assessments, let each other know.

Step 4 - No matter what number your partner writes down, refrain from reacting negatively to your partner's scores. Be supportive; do not get defensive, resentful, or angry. Begin to create safety in the relationship by thanking your partner for having the courage to trust you by sharing his or her true thoughts and feelings.

Step 5 - At the top of the "Our Relationship Assessment" page is a space to record the date and your names. Record your perspective of yourself score beneath your name. Next, when your partner shares the total topic score from his or her workbook, record it beneath his or her name.

Step 6 - Total both of your scores for each topic and divide by 200 to get the percentage score. Place this under the Topic Percentage Score heading to the right of your individual scores.

Step 7 - Total your individual scores for each topic; divide by 21. Place both of the average sums in the appropriate Total Relationship Score line at the end of the "Our Relationship Assessment." Add your two percentages, divide by two, and place the number to the right of your individual Total Relationship Scores. This is the percentage score for your assessment.

Step 8 - In the "Our Relationship Assessment" section, using a black pen, place a checkmark to the left of each topic heading that has a Total Percentage Score of 80 or above. Celebrate these and focus on the positives they bring to your relationship.

Step 9 - Place a red X to the left of each topic heading that has a percentage score below 80. Be mindful of the topics that score between 60 and 79. Here, you have room to improve, but such areas are less dire than any topics with scores below 60. They are the areas that need the most immediate attention.

Chapter 21 - Parent Your Children for Success

_______ _______ - 1 - I know how to coach my children to be Emotionally Intelligent.
_______ _______ - 2 - I take the time to be mentally present and emotionally available when my children need me.
_______ _______ - 3 - I listen to my children when they are afraid, sad, angry, confused, or disappointed.
_______ _______ - 4 - I put myself in my children's shoes, and understand and empathize with their experience.
_______ _______ - 5 - I do not rush my children when they are trying to communicate a thought or feeling to me.
_______ _______ - 6 - I help them understand their emotions and let them know emotions are okay.
_______ _______ - 7 - I help them self-soothe and calm themselves during these discussions.
_______ _______ - 8 - I help them see new perspectives of the situation.
_______ _______ - 9 - I assist them in finding solutions to their issues and problems.
_______ _______ - 10 - I am an Emotionally Intelligent parent.

_______ _______ - Topic Score

Chapter 22 - Create Lasting Meaning for Your Relationship

_______ _______ - 1 - We know the importance of rituals, symbols, and structures in creating meaning in our relationship.
_______ _______ - 2 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to have safe, honest, peaceful, respectful, and loving discussions.
_______ _______ - 3 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to make each other feel safe, loved, and cared for.
_______ _______ - 4 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to build trust, respect and admiration.
_______ _______ - 5 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to satisfy each other's required, important and desired needs.
_______ _______ - 6 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures for romance, intimacy, and sexuality in our relationship.
_______ _______ - 7 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to manage and live with our problems peacefully.
_______ _______ - 8 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures of friendship and connection.
_______ _______ - 9 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to honor our values, vision, and spirituality.
_______ _______ - 10 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to remind us to continue learning, stretching, growing, maturing and changing.

_______ _______ - Topic Score

Our Relationship Assessment

_______ - 1 - Commitment _________ _________ _________
_______ - 2 - Discussion _________ _________ _________
_______ - 3 - Awareness _________ _________ _________
_______ - 4 - Wounds _________ _________ _________
_______ - 5 - Conflict _________ _________ _________
_______ - 6 - Communication _________ _________ _________
_______ - 7 - Change _________ _________ _________
_______ - 8 - Avoidance _________ _________ _________
_______ - 9 - Behaviors _________ _________ _________
_______ - 10 - Needs _________ _________ _________
_______ - 11 - Problems _________ _________ _________
_______ - 12 - Compromise _________ _________ _________
_______ - 13 - Friendship _________ _________ _________
_______ - 14 - Connection _________ _________ _________
_______ - 15 - Values _________ _________ _________
_______ - 16 - Vision _________ _________ _________
_______ - 17 - Romance _________ _________ _________
_______ - 18 - Intimacy _________ _________ _________
_______ - 19 - Sexuality _________ _________ _________
_______ - 20 - Parenting _________ _________ _________
_______ - 21 - Meaning _________ _________ _________

Total Relationship Score _________ _________ _________

Congratulations for completing the "I-TO-WE" Couples Relationship Assessment. I hope you gained awareness about the positive and negative areas of your relationship - the first step toward a peaceful, joyous, passionate, and loving relationship.

My hope is that this assessment series is the beginning of a guide for you on a wonderful journey together as you begin to cross the bridge into your field of sunflowers. Remember to live each day honoring the 12 Principles of Emotionally Intelligent Relationships.

From now until eternity,
may you always remain each other's...
Best Friend during the Day,
Lover at Night, and
Partner for Life

©2008 - All rights reserved - Glenn Cohen - "I-TO-WE" Relationship Coaching

Finding Old Friends For Free

Are you searching for an old friend? Perhaps a buddy from school that you lost touch with? Or maybe a long-lost love that you've never really gotten over?

In the past you would have had to spend hundreds of dollars on a private investigator and wait weeks or even months for the results. But the internet has made finding old friends for free easier than ever. Today you can track down information on just about anyone right from the comfort of your own home.

But where do you start?

Let's take a look at a couple of different ways find old friends online. The first method is free, but it will take a good deal of time and effort. The second method takes only a few minutes but you have to pay a small fee. Which one you use its entirely up to you.

If you want to try the free method first, just go to your favorite search engine. I prefer Google myself, but use whatever you're comfortable with. To run a free search on someone just enter their name in quotes and click the search button. It's important to put their name in quotes to narrow down the results.

The next step is to sift through the results to try and find information on the person you're looking for. Click on each result and check out the web page to see if there's anything that could lead you to them. I'm warning you now if they have a common name you will have to go through a lot of pages to find anything of value. More unique names are a little easier to search.

As I said this method can take a lot of time and there's no guarantee that you'll find what you need. Even if you do find them mentioned on a blog or website, there may not be any contact information to track them down with. But it doesn't cost anything so its worth trying.

If you can't find anything with a search engine, its time to try an online background search. These are services that report details on individuals for a small fee. Background reports are often used by employers, private investigators, and law enforcement officials. But the internet will let your run a background check on someone too.

To get started, simply visit an online background check site and enter the name of the person you are searching for. You'll be able to run a free search to check if their name is listed in the background report database. In just a second of two you'll receive some basic results including the name and location of the person you're searching for. Once you've confirmed that they're listed in the database, you simply pay the one-time fee and you'll have immediate access to their full background report including their current address and contact information.

Building Relationships, Commitment, and Love - Starting With E

We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter E. The focus is on earnest, emotional, and encouraging.

E is for earnest. This quality is so important one of the English language's greatest writers, Oscar Wilde, wrote a play entitled, "The Importance of Being Earnest." Or maybe it was "The Importance of Being Ernest." Anyway, being earnest means being serious, really serious. If you are earnest people know that you mean business. In fact more than that, they know you mean what you say. They know you'll get it done instead of saying let George do it. You don't pass the buck. The downside is that in some workplaces guess who will be given the thankless tasks, the ones that nobody wants. Did I hear Ernie? I know I didn't hear George.

E is for emotional. You are not a bloodless automaton. You've got a heart. Perhaps you even cry in the corner when nobody sees you. That's a good thing. Because you have an inner self and you are in touch with your inner self you can reach out to people. The more you reach out, the more people will reach out to you. They realize that they don't have to hide their feelings in your presence. They, too, can be themselves. The way I see it, we need more people who are emotional in all parts of their life, including the workplace. Just remember, don't let the boss see you crying when you are turned down for a promotion. That won't help your chances the next time.

E is for encouraging. This quality is also sorely lacking not only in the business world but also on the personal plane. People need encouragement. They need to know that they can do it and that someone is rooting for them. Isn't that a lot better than being negative, telling people that they just are not good enough? You can be encouraging; I know you can. Don't let any stop you.

How to Get an Ex Boyfriend Back - Unknown Secrets Revealed

Do you miss him already? If so, there no reason to waste time getting him back. This is THE BIGGEST mistake I see people make. We like to think that "time will heal" or over time things will "work themselves out". Please, don't be another victim to this myth. Time is actually your biggest enemy when learning how to get an ex boyfriend back. Think about it...over time REALLY just gives him more time to get over you and find a new girlfriend. Is that what you want? Of course not.

However, you do want to wait just a few days after the breakup before contacting him again. This is because right after a breakup tension between the two of you is at it's highest. Meaning anything you say or do, regardless of your intentions, will make him even more angry and upset at you. Not sure what I'm talking about? Well, let me explain...

How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back - Thing NOT To Say and Do...

- Tell him your sorry for EVERYTHING

- Convince him he is the love of your life

- Tell him you will change for good this time

- Constantly call or text him

- And the worst thing you can do...BEG for him to take you back

Hopefully, you can see why saying these things RIGHT after a breakup is a BAD IDEA. Even if you have already done some of these things already DON'T PANIC... You can STILL get him back but you need to have a PLAN or else your going to continue making mistakes and eventually he will be gone.

Understanding This Multiracial Generation - Can it Change Our Future?

Phil and Sonya Thomas continue to fight their local school system. As they wait for the proceedings to begin, they feel the matter could have been avoided if their son's teacher would have listened. Now, the matter has escalated to this. With their lawyer at their side, the parents watch as the principal defends the teacher: she was justified in labeling their son. The school system experts also support the teacher. Sonya Thomas struggles to reframe herself. "We don't care what the experts say. It isn't the school's right to categorize our son. You are only looking at the outside." She breaks down. "Why can't you accept that our son isn't white? He's a black American." The room gets quiet.

The US Dilemma

As many voters turn their attention to the presidential election, the media continues to remind us of race. With a white mother from Kansas and a black father from Kenya, Barak Obama makes us uneasy with his racial background. Some people view him as "too black" while others declare that he is just "not black enough." Individuals with a mixed heritage betray our hidden beliefs and sometimes our prejudices. For example, rapper Kanye West in 2006 told Essence Magazine, "If it wasn't for race mixing, there'd be no video girls." Growing up in Louisiana, we lived with a one-drop rule. The one-drop rule holds that individuals with any degree of African ancestry cannot be white. In fact, it makes that person 100% black. In this narrow viewpoint, regardless of the race of the mother the child is determined black. Therefore, regardless of a person's racial preference, society seeks to make its own judgment of an individual based on a person's skin color. In most cases, society forces children to make a decision early in life. Shouldn't we be free from societal racial classification? Let's further explore this unique situation.

The Historical Perspective

During slavery and the Jim Crow Era, racial laws were developed to prevent intermarriage and co-mingling with other races. In the South, determining one's race was a fact of life. The term "mulatto" was originally used to describe the union of whites and blacks. From 1870 to 1880, multatto included quadroons, octoroons, and all persons having any perceptible trace of African blood. Demographics are now changing in America. According to the US 2000 Census, there are 3.1 million interracial couples. In fact, one in every 20 children is born from a mixed-race heritage. Many people focus solely on black and white integration. However, this multigenerational movement is far more extensive. According to University of Michigan researchers, Asian Americans have the highest outmarriage rates among racial and ethnic groups (about one and a half million children under age 17 had one Asian parent and another non-Asian parent in 1990). Many of today's most talented celebrities come from a mixed heritage. They include Dwayne "The Rock," Johnson, Halle Berry, Vin Diesel, Derek Jeter, Rachel Smith, and Tiger Woods. For many Generation Xers and Millenniums, the formation of a multiracial society is normal. Many older Americans are not as comfortable with interracial mixing. However, they aren't the only individuals dealing with racial problems. Many times multiracial children have a difficult time coping with a racially charged society. Charlotte Nitardy, in her article "Identity problems in biracial youth," noted that biracial children have issues with racial identity problems. In many cases, biracial children are faced with choosing one racial group and rejecting the other in order to survive in society.

The Real Challenge

Are the old racial labels outdated for this multiracial generation? Anne Tsui and Barbara Gutek, authors of Demographic Differences in Organizations, maintain that there is still unrest about diversity. They explain, "Below the surface of increased activities and some apparent progress in diversity efforts by companies lie feelings of discomfort, frustration, confusion, and even anger, among women and men, ethnic minorities and the white majority." Today's children have little concept of segregated living. Dating outside of one's race is pretty common in most communities. The US Census has been in charge of tracking the racial classification in this country. Clearly, checking one box or multiple boxes for one racial identification may not be practical now. In fact, because of interracial dating, social demographic changes, and individuals' right to self-determine their racial preference, the census data may make little sense for the America of the future. Consequently, it may become a distant memory as the multiracial generation continues to expand across America. Unfortunately, society still wrestles with how to deal with this multiracial generation. Will America be ready for a multiracial president or a growing self-identifying multiracial generation? I am optimistic that we are ready. The clock is ticking on America.