This is Why Women Chase Bad Boys - Here is the Blunt Truth Finally Revealed in Front of Your Eyes

Well it's often said that nice guys finish last but a lot of females out there would simply disagree with this statement. They always say that they want nice men but why do they always end up chasing the bad ones? You see it might not apply to every girl out there but majority of women do. There are some shocking reasons most guys are not aware of. Read on to discover what these reasons are and get ready to be shocked...

Bad guys are mostly emotionally stable- Most bad boys out there are some what cold towards emotions and don't give the type of reactions a girl would expect from them. You see this very fact makes a lot of girls think and such men automatically become a rare breed women run after. Unlike nice guys who always show a strong reaction towards a girl's comments and often end up at the receiving end of rejection from girls.

They are hard to get that's why girls have to have them- Put it this way! If there is a great looking girl who always ends up getting a lot of attention from almost every guy out there suddenly ends up being ignored. You see this would raise her curiosity levels as to why this guy didn't pay attention towards me. Therefore the guy becomes an automatic challenge for her and she would pursue him to see what he's really all about.

They work on their own terms- Bad boys don't work on someone else's terms. They make their own route instead of following someone else's. You see when it comes to the matter of nice guys they always end up agreeing with the girl on almost everything and they try to please her in every way possible due to which they come across as any other guy.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know

Fear of Commitment - Love is the Antidote

There was
Something special
About the two of us
The time between us
It was beautiful
And what was
Between us
It was unmistakeable
What happened
Between us
It was purposeful

I drew close
You drew close
Then one day you said
"I am not emotionally available"
I was confused
Said I must walk away
For I was not sure
If it would break my heart
Or it would mend your heart
For I knew
Only the Divine Maker
Had the answer
That moment
You asked
"Must you throw
The baby with the bath water?"
I answered softly
"It did not matter what the outcome
Then lets go with the flow
And see what God does"
Over the weeks
And over the months
It was blissful
It was painful
For you would draw
Closer to me
Then you would withdraw
Further from me
Yet I drew closer
And closer to you
In spite of the pain
I perceived new things
Discerned matters
Beyond my comprehension
We figured out
You were fearful
Of commitment
And I was unafraid
Of abandonment
At least we seemed
A perfect team
We both agreed
Once again
To go with the flow
No matter what
The outcome
We communicated so well
Not once did we argue
Nor brought out the worst
In one another
All the while we cared for
Each other deeply
Of course at times
We agreed
To disagree
With utmost respect
Towards one another
Through the ups
And through the downs
In every challenge
We saw-into-the other
We understood
One another
So well
It was blissful
Intimacy
For the first time
We experienced
What it was meant by
Into-me-see
One weekend
We went far away
Spent more time together
And enjoyed our intimacy
To this day I would claim
That It was undoubtedly
The most wonderful time
I had in my life
It was heavenly
But it only took a week
Since our return
For you to say
Over the phone
That things were not right
And you must step out
I sensed your fear
It was tangible
I did not doubt
I understood
I had no more words
To say to you
Except "I understand"
Before I hung up
I felt the dagger
Go through me
The lump in my throat
Almost choking me
I resolved to withdraw
And give you space
The tears that gushed
You could not see
I sobbed through the night
At my Makers feet
I asked for HIS grace
To overcome
To forgive you
As if you owed me nothing
Once again you did call me
Asked me out
To discuss things
Wisdom spoke
Through my mouth
I challenged you
To sort things out
Until then
Not a hope for us
There is no
Fear in Love
The Maker says
God's perfect love
Drives away
All fear from us
I know it is true
For before you came
Into my life
I asked God
To help me love
As only He could love
You were my challenge
To prove that we could
Love passionately
And live fearlessly
Love is abandonment to self
Love is liberation of self
Love is being other centred
Love is not keeping a record
Of the wrong done
Love does not insist on its own way
Love bears all things
It always hopes
Always endures
Always forgives
Love never ends
It never fails
Real love is only possible
When you are
Christ centred
Love is
Not being afraid to love
Christ gave Himself
On The Cross of Calvary
Even when
There was no guarantee
That any one of us
Would return HIS love
I now know
That it is possible
That it is in our hands
If we so will in our hearts
To love like Christ
For His Spirit enables us
To love passionately
To live fearlessly
This is the adventure
Of love and life
The mystery of
The Christ and His Bride
Revealed in
The man and his wife
When two shall become one
Passionately committed
No matter what
Greater love has no other
Than the one who lays down
His life for the other
God's love is the antidote
To the fear of commitment

Couples Relationship Assessment - Section 7 - Now and Forever - Loving Your Life Together

As you progress through the final section, you might find yourself wondering how you can internalize all of the information presented, transfer the knowledge, and practice it in your daily life.

Many enter marital therapy, coaching, couple's workshops or other programs and seminars with high hopes and good intentions. Too often, they feel frustrated, disillusioned and betrayed when promises fall by the wayside. They move on without any real awareness, skills or techniques they intended to learn.

Following through involves exceedingly more than changing your previous words, actions and behaviors. Real conviction takes constant practice and repetition until the principles and techniques become internalized at such a deep level that they are essential to who you are.

If you are in the midst of relationship distress and turmoil, you will be hard pressed to uncover the true core of your struggle. Becoming glued to everyday surface issues and problems, you will identify with superficial content while ignoring the deeper rhythm of your relationship dance. It is not until you gain the insight and self-awareness to look intensely into your own mirror that you begin "knowing."

No two individuals share the same perspective. Recognition and understanding of your partner's perspectives are precursors to healthy communication. Such insight is also a prerequisite for the feelings of mutual safety, trust, respect, and admiration. Once you begin to understand one another's views of the current state of the relationship, you are in the right position to change and Co-Create the relationship of your dreams.

In Section 7 of the Couples Relationship Assessment, you will score statements that correspond to the following chapters from The Journey from "I-TO-WE".

Chapter 21 - Parent Your Children for Success

New parents typically possess pure and genuine intentions to care for their children in every way possible. They wish to help their kids become happy, successful, loving and confident adults. Parents worry about doing everything correctly and instilling in their children deeply cherished family traditions, values and beliefs. Parents worry about their children from the time they are born. Care and concern never ends.

The majority of parents aim to satisfy the unique needs of their children at each stage of their development. Most invest enormous amounts of time, love and resources into their kids' upbringing. Therefore, they feel annoyed and irritated when their children display defiance, selfishness or disrespect. Parents become confused and even alarmed when they cannot connect with or understand their children. Moreover, parents often feel guilty, ashamed and regretful when they grow frustrated and angry with their children. How can you be different?

Chapter 21 - Parent Your Children for Success

Meanings entail rituals, symbols and structures for you, your relationship and your family. They comprise words, actions, behaviors and objects that hold personal and spiritual significance.

They act as a lighthouse that reminds you where you have been and where you are headed. The beacon is the light of hope and promise for the future. It illuminates the beauty of all you have created together on your journey thus far and presents your chosen path for the future.

Are you ready to begin your journey to gain the awareness, learn the skills and practice the techniques to achieve relationship success at home, at work and within yourself?

Section 7 - Complete steps 1 through 9.

Step 1 - Your perspective of yourself - Rate your degree of agreement with each statement on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being a definite "yes" and 1 being a definite "no." Using a black pen, write your score on the first line to the left of each statement.

Step 2 - Your perspective of your partner - Rate your partner according to how you feel the statement applies to him or her from your perspective. Using a black pen, write your score on the second line to the left of each statement.

Example: 10_ 8_- 1 - I am committed to our relationship.
If you feel you are 100% committed, place a 10 as shown above. If you feel your partner is only 80% committed, place an 8 on the second space.

Step 3 - When you have completed each of the topics, total all of the scores within each topic, and write the number in the space marked Topic Score. When you and your partner have finished scoring your Assessments, let each other know.

Step 4 - No matter what number your partner writes down, refrain from reacting negatively to your partner's scores. Be supportive; do not get defensive, resentful, or angry. Begin to create safety in the relationship by thanking your partner for having the courage to trust you by sharing his or her true thoughts and feelings.

Step 5 - At the top of the "Our Relationship Assessment" page is a space to record the date and your names. Record your perspective of yourself score beneath your name. Next, when your partner shares the total topic score from his or her workbook, record it beneath his or her name.

Step 6 - Total both of your scores for each topic and divide by 200 to get the percentage score. Place this under the Topic Percentage Score heading to the right of your individual scores.

Step 7 - Total your individual scores for each topic; divide by 21. Place both of the average sums in the appropriate Total Relationship Score line at the end of the "Our Relationship Assessment." Add your two percentages, divide by two, and place the number to the right of your individual Total Relationship Scores. This is the percentage score for your assessment.

Step 8 - In the "Our Relationship Assessment" section, using a black pen, place a checkmark to the left of each topic heading that has a Total Percentage Score of 80 or above. Celebrate these and focus on the positives they bring to your relationship.

Step 9 - Place a red X to the left of each topic heading that has a percentage score below 80. Be mindful of the topics that score between 60 and 79. Here, you have room to improve, but such areas are less dire than any topics with scores below 60. They are the areas that need the most immediate attention.

Chapter 21 - Parent Your Children for Success

_______ _______ - 1 - I know how to coach my children to be Emotionally Intelligent.
_______ _______ - 2 - I take the time to be mentally present and emotionally available when my children need me.
_______ _______ - 3 - I listen to my children when they are afraid, sad, angry, confused, or disappointed.
_______ _______ - 4 - I put myself in my children's shoes, and understand and empathize with their experience.
_______ _______ - 5 - I do not rush my children when they are trying to communicate a thought or feeling to me.
_______ _______ - 6 - I help them understand their emotions and let them know emotions are okay.
_______ _______ - 7 - I help them self-soothe and calm themselves during these discussions.
_______ _______ - 8 - I help them see new perspectives of the situation.
_______ _______ - 9 - I assist them in finding solutions to their issues and problems.
_______ _______ - 10 - I am an Emotionally Intelligent parent.

_______ _______ - Topic Score

Chapter 22 - Create Lasting Meaning for Your Relationship

_______ _______ - 1 - We know the importance of rituals, symbols, and structures in creating meaning in our relationship.
_______ _______ - 2 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to have safe, honest, peaceful, respectful, and loving discussions.
_______ _______ - 3 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to make each other feel safe, loved, and cared for.
_______ _______ - 4 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to build trust, respect and admiration.
_______ _______ - 5 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to satisfy each other's required, important and desired needs.
_______ _______ - 6 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures for romance, intimacy, and sexuality in our relationship.
_______ _______ - 7 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to manage and live with our problems peacefully.
_______ _______ - 8 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures of friendship and connection.
_______ _______ - 9 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to honor our values, vision, and spirituality.
_______ _______ - 10 - We have created rituals, symbols, and structures to remind us to continue learning, stretching, growing, maturing and changing.

_______ _______ - Topic Score

Our Relationship Assessment

_______ - 1 - Commitment _________ _________ _________
_______ - 2 - Discussion _________ _________ _________
_______ - 3 - Awareness _________ _________ _________
_______ - 4 - Wounds _________ _________ _________
_______ - 5 - Conflict _________ _________ _________
_______ - 6 - Communication _________ _________ _________
_______ - 7 - Change _________ _________ _________
_______ - 8 - Avoidance _________ _________ _________
_______ - 9 - Behaviors _________ _________ _________
_______ - 10 - Needs _________ _________ _________
_______ - 11 - Problems _________ _________ _________
_______ - 12 - Compromise _________ _________ _________
_______ - 13 - Friendship _________ _________ _________
_______ - 14 - Connection _________ _________ _________
_______ - 15 - Values _________ _________ _________
_______ - 16 - Vision _________ _________ _________
_______ - 17 - Romance _________ _________ _________
_______ - 18 - Intimacy _________ _________ _________
_______ - 19 - Sexuality _________ _________ _________
_______ - 20 - Parenting _________ _________ _________
_______ - 21 - Meaning _________ _________ _________

Total Relationship Score _________ _________ _________

Congratulations for completing the "I-TO-WE" Couples Relationship Assessment. I hope you gained awareness about the positive and negative areas of your relationship - the first step toward a peaceful, joyous, passionate, and loving relationship.

My hope is that this assessment series is the beginning of a guide for you on a wonderful journey together as you begin to cross the bridge into your field of sunflowers. Remember to live each day honoring the 12 Principles of Emotionally Intelligent Relationships.

From now until eternity,
may you always remain each other's...
Best Friend during the Day,
Lover at Night, and
Partner for Life

©2008 - All rights reserved - Glenn Cohen - "I-TO-WE" Relationship Coaching

Finding Old Friends For Free

Are you searching for an old friend? Perhaps a buddy from school that you lost touch with? Or maybe a long-lost love that you've never really gotten over?

In the past you would have had to spend hundreds of dollars on a private investigator and wait weeks or even months for the results. But the internet has made finding old friends for free easier than ever. Today you can track down information on just about anyone right from the comfort of your own home.

But where do you start?

Let's take a look at a couple of different ways find old friends online. The first method is free, but it will take a good deal of time and effort. The second method takes only a few minutes but you have to pay a small fee. Which one you use its entirely up to you.

If you want to try the free method first, just go to your favorite search engine. I prefer Google myself, but use whatever you're comfortable with. To run a free search on someone just enter their name in quotes and click the search button. It's important to put their name in quotes to narrow down the results.

The next step is to sift through the results to try and find information on the person you're looking for. Click on each result and check out the web page to see if there's anything that could lead you to them. I'm warning you now if they have a common name you will have to go through a lot of pages to find anything of value. More unique names are a little easier to search.

As I said this method can take a lot of time and there's no guarantee that you'll find what you need. Even if you do find them mentioned on a blog or website, there may not be any contact information to track them down with. But it doesn't cost anything so its worth trying.

If you can't find anything with a search engine, its time to try an online background search. These are services that report details on individuals for a small fee. Background reports are often used by employers, private investigators, and law enforcement officials. But the internet will let your run a background check on someone too.

To get started, simply visit an online background check site and enter the name of the person you are searching for. You'll be able to run a free search to check if their name is listed in the background report database. In just a second of two you'll receive some basic results including the name and location of the person you're searching for. Once you've confirmed that they're listed in the database, you simply pay the one-time fee and you'll have immediate access to their full background report including their current address and contact information.

Building Relationships, Commitment, and Love - Starting With E

We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter E. The focus is on earnest, emotional, and encouraging.

E is for earnest. This quality is so important one of the English language's greatest writers, Oscar Wilde, wrote a play entitled, "The Importance of Being Earnest." Or maybe it was "The Importance of Being Ernest." Anyway, being earnest means being serious, really serious. If you are earnest people know that you mean business. In fact more than that, they know you mean what you say. They know you'll get it done instead of saying let George do it. You don't pass the buck. The downside is that in some workplaces guess who will be given the thankless tasks, the ones that nobody wants. Did I hear Ernie? I know I didn't hear George.

E is for emotional. You are not a bloodless automaton. You've got a heart. Perhaps you even cry in the corner when nobody sees you. That's a good thing. Because you have an inner self and you are in touch with your inner self you can reach out to people. The more you reach out, the more people will reach out to you. They realize that they don't have to hide their feelings in your presence. They, too, can be themselves. The way I see it, we need more people who are emotional in all parts of their life, including the workplace. Just remember, don't let the boss see you crying when you are turned down for a promotion. That won't help your chances the next time.

E is for encouraging. This quality is also sorely lacking not only in the business world but also on the personal plane. People need encouragement. They need to know that they can do it and that someone is rooting for them. Isn't that a lot better than being negative, telling people that they just are not good enough? You can be encouraging; I know you can. Don't let any stop you.

How to Get an Ex Boyfriend Back - Unknown Secrets Revealed

Do you miss him already? If so, there no reason to waste time getting him back. This is THE BIGGEST mistake I see people make. We like to think that "time will heal" or over time things will "work themselves out". Please, don't be another victim to this myth. Time is actually your biggest enemy when learning how to get an ex boyfriend back. Think about it...over time REALLY just gives him more time to get over you and find a new girlfriend. Is that what you want? Of course not.

However, you do want to wait just a few days after the breakup before contacting him again. This is because right after a breakup tension between the two of you is at it's highest. Meaning anything you say or do, regardless of your intentions, will make him even more angry and upset at you. Not sure what I'm talking about? Well, let me explain...

How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back - Thing NOT To Say and Do...

- Tell him your sorry for EVERYTHING

- Convince him he is the love of your life

- Tell him you will change for good this time

- Constantly call or text him

- And the worst thing you can do...BEG for him to take you back

Hopefully, you can see why saying these things RIGHT after a breakup is a BAD IDEA. Even if you have already done some of these things already DON'T PANIC... You can STILL get him back but you need to have a PLAN or else your going to continue making mistakes and eventually he will be gone.

Understanding This Multiracial Generation - Can it Change Our Future?

Phil and Sonya Thomas continue to fight their local school system. As they wait for the proceedings to begin, they feel the matter could have been avoided if their son's teacher would have listened. Now, the matter has escalated to this. With their lawyer at their side, the parents watch as the principal defends the teacher: she was justified in labeling their son. The school system experts also support the teacher. Sonya Thomas struggles to reframe herself. "We don't care what the experts say. It isn't the school's right to categorize our son. You are only looking at the outside." She breaks down. "Why can't you accept that our son isn't white? He's a black American." The room gets quiet.

The US Dilemma

As many voters turn their attention to the presidential election, the media continues to remind us of race. With a white mother from Kansas and a black father from Kenya, Barak Obama makes us uneasy with his racial background. Some people view him as "too black" while others declare that he is just "not black enough." Individuals with a mixed heritage betray our hidden beliefs and sometimes our prejudices. For example, rapper Kanye West in 2006 told Essence Magazine, "If it wasn't for race mixing, there'd be no video girls." Growing up in Louisiana, we lived with a one-drop rule. The one-drop rule holds that individuals with any degree of African ancestry cannot be white. In fact, it makes that person 100% black. In this narrow viewpoint, regardless of the race of the mother the child is determined black. Therefore, regardless of a person's racial preference, society seeks to make its own judgment of an individual based on a person's skin color. In most cases, society forces children to make a decision early in life. Shouldn't we be free from societal racial classification? Let's further explore this unique situation.

The Historical Perspective

During slavery and the Jim Crow Era, racial laws were developed to prevent intermarriage and co-mingling with other races. In the South, determining one's race was a fact of life. The term "mulatto" was originally used to describe the union of whites and blacks. From 1870 to 1880, multatto included quadroons, octoroons, and all persons having any perceptible trace of African blood. Demographics are now changing in America. According to the US 2000 Census, there are 3.1 million interracial couples. In fact, one in every 20 children is born from a mixed-race heritage. Many people focus solely on black and white integration. However, this multigenerational movement is far more extensive. According to University of Michigan researchers, Asian Americans have the highest outmarriage rates among racial and ethnic groups (about one and a half million children under age 17 had one Asian parent and another non-Asian parent in 1990). Many of today's most talented celebrities come from a mixed heritage. They include Dwayne "The Rock," Johnson, Halle Berry, Vin Diesel, Derek Jeter, Rachel Smith, and Tiger Woods. For many Generation Xers and Millenniums, the formation of a multiracial society is normal. Many older Americans are not as comfortable with interracial mixing. However, they aren't the only individuals dealing with racial problems. Many times multiracial children have a difficult time coping with a racially charged society. Charlotte Nitardy, in her article "Identity problems in biracial youth," noted that biracial children have issues with racial identity problems. In many cases, biracial children are faced with choosing one racial group and rejecting the other in order to survive in society.

The Real Challenge

Are the old racial labels outdated for this multiracial generation? Anne Tsui and Barbara Gutek, authors of Demographic Differences in Organizations, maintain that there is still unrest about diversity. They explain, "Below the surface of increased activities and some apparent progress in diversity efforts by companies lie feelings of discomfort, frustration, confusion, and even anger, among women and men, ethnic minorities and the white majority." Today's children have little concept of segregated living. Dating outside of one's race is pretty common in most communities. The US Census has been in charge of tracking the racial classification in this country. Clearly, checking one box or multiple boxes for one racial identification may not be practical now. In fact, because of interracial dating, social demographic changes, and individuals' right to self-determine their racial preference, the census data may make little sense for the America of the future. Consequently, it may become a distant memory as the multiracial generation continues to expand across America. Unfortunately, society still wrestles with how to deal with this multiracial generation. Will America be ready for a multiracial president or a growing self-identifying multiracial generation? I am optimistic that we are ready. The clock is ticking on America.

Three Key Break Up Warning Signs

Relationships constantly evolve. If you are not feeling good about some of the changes that are happening in your relationship you are probably wondering if they are signs of an inevitable break up. Not every change means you are headed for break up but there are three key break up warning signs.

Break Up Warning Sign #3

The blame game is the number three break up warning sign. If its always the other person's fault then no one is taking responsibility. Sometimes in relationships people revert to childhood tendencies. These aren't that actual words but in effect they are saying, "it's not my fault, you made me do it." There is no culpability for one's own actions. So if neither party is willing to take responsibility for the relationship there is going to be a problem. This blame the other person is the number three warning sign of a break up.

Break Up Warning Sign #2

Constant fights are the number two break up warning sign. If the frequency and content of the fights tend to escalate then you have a serious break up problem. When two people fight like this things get said and insults are hurled that are very difficult to take back later. Its very, very difficult to keep the relationship going this way. What the fights are about is not nearly as important as the nature of the fight. Verbal sparring often leads to very serious relationship injuries and is clearly the number two warning sign of a break up.

Break up Warning Sign #1

Relationships often move very quickly to a comfortable place. However, it is very easy to move from being comfortable with each other to neglecting each other. Neglect is the number one warning sign of a break up. Neglect can take many forms but we all know it when we are feeling it. You may feel neglected because your feelings and opinions are not seriously considered. Even worse you may feel neglect because you are being ignored. When your significant other begins to tune you out the relationship is headed for a break up. This type of neglect is really the most insulting. It implies that you have no value or anything to say worth listening to. So it is important to address neglect, the number one warning sign of a break up immediately. Don't let it persist.

Ideally, couples will see these warning signs and address them before they get out of control. However, the reality is that many people let these things go on and eventually find themselves in a broken relationship and they don't really know why. Go over these three key break up warning signs and you will begin to find the real source of your problem.

3 Major Reasons Why You Will Never Get a Girl - You Must Be Aware of These Before It's Too Late

A lot of guys out there want to meet women but why is it that most guys out there are not able to find the right girl or often no girl at all? Why is it that most men out there struggle when it comes to the matter of getting a girl to like them? You see there are several devastating mistakes most guys make out there due to which they are not able to get the kind of girl they desire. Read on to discover what these mistakes are before you end up making the same........

Not making the first move- Most guys feel that they will go out and magically women will approach them and they would get a date. You see no matter how good looking you might be you will always have to approach women no matter what. Some of the most effective girl magnets out there approach a lot of women on a consistent basis.

Not making a good first impression- Now this s the most important aspect of getting a girl. You see it's often said that the first impression is the last impression and this is completely true when it comes to the matter of women. You must make a good first impression otherwise she will never consider you as a potential date ever.

Thinking you are average and you will not get good looking females- Now this is an attitude most guys have out in our society. This kind of thinking means you already know that you are not good enough and it will some what reflect on your personality. Women notice this and they would reject you even before you make your attempt. This is the major reason why you must never put yourself down and limit your resources.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know

Free People Searching - Count Me in For This One!

Everyone and their sister is pitching this FREE PEOPLE SEARCHING site or that one. Problem is, there are a lot of skeletons in those closets...meaning they're NOT free at the end of the day.

You may get involved in one free people search and then get to the happy last button only to discover that ONLY through the digits on your Visa card can you find out if that old girlfriend or old boss or old guy from the older neighborhood is still there...and that's pathetic.

It's also epidemic of the internet where shady people hide behind IP addresses that "WHOIS" somewhere to a pet shop in the old Soviet Union, or to the basement of a 19 year old off of exit 198 of the Garden State Parkway in NJ!

Free, to me, means pay nothing. Sorry, maybe it's my upbringing, but a free people search shouldn't bend the rules in any way. It should deliver the goods.

And I have not only found the one that I am going to stick with, thank you very much, but it is also a people finding search engine that is DEDICATED TO ONLY FINDING PEOPLE. It only searches for people on a daily basis.

It is the brainchild of a VERY smart guy from the Washington area who discovered that a full one third of all searches at the biggest search engines were free people search driven. Think about that for a second. Can you even fathom how many names that must be flying around all day long???

Old boyfriends, jail cell mates, college roommates, people you always wanted to date, people you always wanted to see elected...whatever and whoever...it's wild how many different aspects there are to the finding people game.

Allied People Search is SOOOOO stripped down, and so free of all the typical internet look and feel and noise, that you may not appreciate it's power when you get there (later today!)

But this baby will over deliver on its results...you wait and see...

Love it.

This free people searching thing is enormous...I suppose I just never knew how much.

Do Nice Guys Finish Last? Here is the Shocking Answer You Have Desperately Been Searching For

So do nice guys really finish last? This subject has been the big topic of discussing since ages and almost every guy out there wants to know whether nice guys do finish last. You see there are a lot of misconceptions on this topic but the facts are only known to a select few. Now you are being introduced to the real facts. Read on to discover what the real answer is and put an end to the mystery forever..........

Yes it's true- Well in one simple line yes nice guys do finish last and there are several reasons for that. You see nice guys make several mistakes due to which women are repelled.

They adapt to anything- They are willing to change themselves according to the woman which means they will do anything to be around the kind of woman they want to be around which is a very strong sign of weakness and women don't like weak men. They want to be around someone who is a strong decision maker.

They are highly insecure- This is one of the biggest reasons why nice guys always finish last. You see the problem with most nice guys is that they are some what insecure about themselves and they are not sure about their own opinion about themselves that's why they go around asking for someone else's opinion. At the same time they feel they are just not good enough and they will never find the kind of woman they desire therefore they try to be overly nice when they do find one. They have a loser like attitude which women dislike and that's why they finish last.

An absolute must know for you- This secret is an absolute must know for you no matter what. This is the grand daddy of all which would give you the ultimate power to become a magnet towards which every woman would be attracted.

3 Stupid Mistakes Men Make Around Girls All the Time - You Simply Can Not Afford to Miss This

Well may it be intentional or unintentional there are some thing a lot of men out there do subconsciously which often gets them dumped by women within seconds. You see these are some mistakes a lot of men make on a regular basis and more or less they don't seem to have any control over these things. Read on to discover what these mistakes are and what you should do about them............

Getting nervous around women all the time- When you are nervous she will feel strange in your company. You see because being around women is all about how confident and secure you are about yourself but when you get nervous in such ways it's quite obvious that you are not even comfortable in your skin.

Feeling that you might lose her as she is too good for you- This is something most average men go through when they actually do get to be around a highly attractive woman. You see this kind of thinking does mean that you are insecure about yourself and the very fear of losing her would make you push her away and you will lose her anyway. Therefore learn to control yourself and forget about the outcome.

Being jealous of other guys- Again this only means that you don't think you are good enough for her and you fear that someone else might steal her away from you due to which you feel jealous of other guys. You see the moment you lose this feeling of jealousy her chances of leaving you will completely diminish.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but you absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover 9 most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know

The Power of Asking Versus the Force of Telling

A while back I got a different sort of meeting request at work. I was being summonsed to assist with an audit objective and it seemed important. If I didn't already know it was important, I soon surmised it as critical when I read the coloured label "Must Attend"! Needless to say, I was otherwise free, so I accepted the invitation.

Yet, I felt not-quite-right about it. Later that day I reflected on this experience and then recognised what I felt earlier was a form of instant aggrievement at being 'told' I must attend. Several times during the ensuing period prior to the meeting I reflected, and the more I did, the more the very minor resentment burgeoned within me.

Then, on the day of the meeting, a colleague, who was also told he 'must attend,' approached me in planning for the meeting, and he also voiced his displeasure in receiving the invitation in this manner. It reminded me of the negotiation principle of the 'power of asking versus the force of telling.' We both joked how we felt like boycotting the meeting. Now, how childish would that have been?

The meeting transpired and it was a normal meeting and the person requesting the meeting was anything but the ogre they'd come across as. I certainly didn't feel told what to do -- it didn't end up that way at all.

In reflecting on this discussion I felt I had let myself down, and the person who had sent the meeting invite, for having the feelings of resentment and for sharing this with another person, regardless how minor.

But, I also thought, "Do I cause resentments in others by virtue of my demands on them?"

Being told what to do reminds us of being a child; of having little or no control over things. Being asked however generates a totally different effect, and the power of influence is suddenly open to use. People might feel privileged to be asked or genuinely invited. Being asked is also a question that intuits a response -- it is voluntary. Being told is a command, and commands don't often work these days. Even in authority circles, commands don't work very well. (And how many people still don't get this?!)

There is real power in asking and employing age-old principles of influence. You will get more, and achieve more with people, when you ask and don't tell. You'll also retain something far more important -- your relationship with the people affected. It only takes a little more effort and creativity to ask rather than tell.

Make a commitment to yourself to ask more questions, particularly when it comes to seeking commitment from others to do things you want them to do. Work also on finding creative ways of persuading people so they will actually want to do your thing.

Do You Need Wedding Linens For Your Reception?

Every year, over two million couples take the biggest in their adult lives and get married. While there are many decisions to be made when planning a wedding, the reception is usually considered the event where people can loosen up after the ceremony, which can be quite stressful for some. Wedding linens are a popular and elegant way to add a beautiful look and feel to a reception. By using high quality wedding linens, a couple can change the different aspects of the design of their reception to make it more representative of who they are.

While everyone these days seem to use wedding linens and use the services of wedding linen rental companies, some people who have never planned a wedding wonder whether or not they are actually needed. By looking at your own situation, you can understand if you need to use high quality linens for your wedding.

What is the Style or Theme of your Wedding?

The style or theme of your wedding can directly affect your decision of the quality, fabric and style of your wedding linens. Because of the way that wedding linens can be used, they can have a dramatic effect on how your wedding reception looks and feels. The linens can be used as the tablecloths and be rotated and draped in different ways to make the tables more classy and interesting.

Stylish chair covers can be used as a way to bring in a more elegant and inviting look to your wedding reception. If you are looking for a certain style (simple, traditional or elegant) for your wedding reception, you have numerous choices to look at when you eventually choose your wedding linens rental company.

Another important aspect to consider for wedding linens is your choice of colors and fabrics for your wedding reception. If you have certain "colors" you would like to see all over, the use of table linens can help. Accents and colors for table linens and chair covers can be incredibly helpful as far as design is concerned. It is important to understand that wedding linens is an incredible way to add visual excitement to your reception.

Wedding Linens Actually Serve Two Purposes

Wedding linens serve more of a purpose than simply a design aesthetic. The tables and chairs that are provided in your reception space may have some age and wear and tear on them, or may simply not work with the design. By using wedding linens, you can cover the tables and chairs and bring a brand new look to the room. Also, if you have a large number of tables and chairs, it's possible to have mismatching items that should be covered to help the design.

Wedding linens are a great way to add a quality experience for your guests at your reception. Although it's not 100% necessary to use wedding linen rentals, but if you speak with people how have, there are almost not regrets since the quality and choices are often limited by what the hotel can offer you.

Taking Care Of Your Relationship

Anyway you look at it, most of our concerns are in one way or another, connected with our relationships. For example, those who are usually belittled often experience low self esteem. Those who are not accepted by their peers can lead to anger.

Those who are lonely and isolated often have feelings of vulnerability and rejection. Indeed the many feelings that we experience can be traced to our relationships. In the same way the positive feelings we experience also stem from the relationships we cultivate.

Indeed, relationships are significant in our life. We cannot escape the fact that our lives revolved around relationships. We deal with our family members, friends, colleagues, and peers and nourish our relationships with them. Every aspect of our daily life is affected by these relationships. We even have relationships, albeit short ones, to those people we don't know, such as interaction with a sales agent, or going to our physician. Thus it is important that we cultivate and nourish these relationships so they can bring in positive feelings and experiences for us.

What we make of our relationship determines the feelings we have. For relationships that are loving, friendly, warm, we associate with feelings of being encouraged, refreshed, connected, and accepted. Meanwhile the relationships that result in conflict and hurt can lead to emotional pain and stress especially if they are left unresolved.

We can build relationships in the same way that we can tear them down. How we value our relationship has an effect on how the relationship turns out. If we put care and attention to them our relationships will turn out to be good ones. Shower kindness and love and there's a good chance that our relationship will be beneficial and happy.

It is us who make our relationships work. It is important that we assess our relationships. Think of how we deal with our friends, loved ones, and family members. Ask if you are treating them in the way that you would like to treat you. Are you being forgiving? Or are you usually seeking for revenge? Are you always seeking for peace in your relationships? Are you the first to take notice of your loved one's shortcomings and make it the cause of a rocky relationship?

If we only seek to assess our relationships and make ways to improve them, then we can all be assured of happiness and excitement.

Relationship Tips

Relationship tips are necessary to ensure that you're giving and getting the best out of your involvement with others. Everybody has relationships. Some are bad, good, mediocre, exciting, tense, loving and so much more. One thing is for certain--great relationships are key to a person's happiness.

There's a common saying that people in love don't get colds. The reason being that a loving relationship or many loving relationships, can make even the most unpleasant of people happy. Having great relationships improves the quality of your life. It's important to learn how to recognize what makes someone a good friend and also how to be one.

Healthy relationships can really boost a person's mental, emotional, even physical state, whereas unhealthy even toxic relationships can be the cause of frustration, unhappiness and depression. You must strive to seek out the qualities in people that you believe are important in being a good friend, and you must also return the favor. For instance, if loyalty is an important quality in your friends, then you must also master this quality and show your loyalty to others. Others will recognize this quality in you and want to treat you as well as you treat them. It's a win-win situation

Our top ten relationship tips will help you to begin nurturing the people in your life and your relationship with them. Whether you're looking to improve things between you and your best friend, sibling or partner, these relationship tips can work for you.

Remember that it takes two to make things work in relationships, so get ready to take a look at yourself and see how you can take these relationship tips and include them in your overall self improvement.

1. Be clear about who your friends are. Divide people you know into categories, "Family," "Close Friends," "Acquaintances," and "Work Colleagues." Being clear on who your friends are and which group they belong to will help you determine how much quality time you spend with them. This will help you to realize who gets priority in terms of quality time with you. You'll know not to waste time with people who you may not necessarily be interested in building anything with.

2. Clean up your act. If you're often late or canceling your plans with your friends at the last minute, then stop. Failing to live up to your commitments tells people that you don't respect them or their time.

3. Be honest without hurting the other person's feelings. Don't lie to get out of an event you don't want to go to. Tell your friends or spouses that you don't want to attend their event and tell them why. Put it to them gently if you think they may be upset with you, but don't lie to get out of something.

4. Don't try to be a people-pleaser. We've known a lot of people who have tried to be all things to all people and there's always the same result: it doesn't work. Save your time and energy and be yourself. The ones who love you are your real friends, the ones who don't approve or like you aren't. You don't want the latter group in your life.

5. Don't gossip. This can be especially difficult in the workforce, but essential to having a stress-free work environment. When you don't gossip, it frees up your energy to discuss important things with your friends and loved ones. In other words, speak about people as though they can hear you at all times.

6. Be generous. It's become a cliche but it's true: treat others how you would like to be treated. Nothing will make others appreciate you more than this relationship tip.

7. Listen. Listen. Listen. Sometimes it's the best thing you can do. Friends aren't always looking for a quick fix to their problem, they may just want to share something with you. If they are looking for advice from you, be sure to really listen without interrupting before you give them your opinion.

8. Give as much as you take. If your friends are constantly inviting you over (or you constantly invite yourself over!), return the favor and host an event. Your friends will feel like you're carrying your weight and appreciate you for it.

9. Communicate. If something is bothering you, let your friend/partner know about it. Do this without insulting or yelling at the other person. You might want to say something like, "I love you and really value our relationship, which is why I need to let you know that something is bothering me." Then gently let them know what is bothering you and how you think it can be fixed. Do this calmly. Your friend/partner may be upset at first, but if they value the relationship, they'll listen to what you have to say and work out a solution with you.

10. Set boundaries. Make sure that you set healthy boundaries with people. Go back to relationship tip #1 where you divided your friends into groups and set boundaries for each group. For instance, your co-workers shouldn't be calling you at home past a certain hour (unless it's an emergency). If you have a difficult time finding alone time (or down time as we like to call it), then pick a date night for yourself, inform your spouse and commit to it. Setting boundaries is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself, making it the most important of the relationship tips. Use it with the others and you'll see improvements in your relationships.

The Magic of Making Up - How to Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

Is there really such a thing as the magic of making up, that can easily help you to get your ex girlfriend back to your side, and stay with you forever? Well, in case you are thinking that I am going to talk about magic here, well I am not.

But if you really want to get your ex girlfriend back, it will be very helpful if you understand certain principles about how human beings behave. Once you understand these principles, you will start to realize why certain things don't work and may even make your situation worse.

Let us discuss one principle in this article.

It is, "People want what they do not have." Most probably, you may have come across this principle at one point in time. What this principle is trying to say is that when people want something, but they do not have them or cannot get access to them easily, their desire for it will increase even more.

Similarly, when someone can get something very easily or they have a lot of it, they will not treasure that thing as much.

This principle applies to many areas of your life, including your relationship. When people do not understand this principle, they will start to do things that tend to make the situation worse, instead of helping them.

One very common mistake many guys made when trying to get ex girlfriend back is:

Calling girlfriend over and over again

Why doesn't this work? Well, when you keep on calling your girlfriend again and again, it shows that you are desperate to get her back. Of course, she will know that you are desperate. So, what does that implies?

Well, it implies that she can get you very easily. According to the principle, since she can get you easily, she will not treasure you as much.

Most probably, you may already have made some of those mistakes yourself. But don't blame yourself. Sometimes, it is really easy for us to make those mistakes, especially when we are going through such a tough time as a break up.

3 Stunning Relationship Secrets About Women Every Man Must Know - Achieve Explosive Results

There are some very vital key elements which keep a relationship going in the long term. You see there are some very important facts a lot of people don't know about women and the relationships game. These elements are extremely important as they would help you survive the tests of time and make sure that your girl never ever dares to leave you and at the same time doesn't get bored around you. Read on to discover what these keys are and achieve mind blowing results using them........

Draw the line right from the beginning- This is something you must do right at the beginning with any girl. It's often said that the first impression is the last impression and this saying actually holds true when it comes to the matter of women and dating. You see if the woman loses value for you early in the relationship there is absolutely no way you will ever get it back since she has already formed this image of you in her mind. Therefore draw the line right at the beginning and earn the respect.

Don't be a yes man- Yes this is one thing a lot of men do when they get into a relationship with a woman. They find it extremely hard to say no for a lot of things due to which the girl feels that she can get what she wants from you and at the same time she wouldn't take no for an answer.

Don't let her dominate you- Respect her but not at the cost of your image in the relationship. Often what happens is that the woman starts to dominate the relationship and the man is not able to do much due to which she ends up getting what she wants at the same time you also give her the power to dump you at any time she pleases.

5 Cruise Pickup Tips

I'm on a roll with cruises! Remembering my short romance made me remember the techniques I used to get a female companion while on a cruise. I'm no smooth operator, but these seem to work for me. If you're going to be stuck on one alone, it's really better if you get someone to hang out with and talk to, even if it's non-romantic. Who knows? You might find the one for you on a cruise with these tips!

1. Breathe confidence. Sure, some girls like the shy, hesitant type, but you can't really sense that right away. For most girls, the most important thing is confidence. Many women respond positively to it. Smile. Stand tall and move tall. Use confident strides. When trying to pick up a girl, act confident, but not too confident, lest you seem arrogant. She has to feel that you're sure she'll talk to you, and if you don't, big deal. If she rejects, take it with grace and exit with your head held high.

2. Pickup lines? Who needs them? Unless you have an especially creative line that's sure to work, don't use them. They don't work more often than not. Rely on more situational circumstances where those lines will actually work. Speaking of which...

3. Use terrain to your advantage. There are lots of ways to start a conversation. A great way to do this is when someone's outside, on deck. If she's leaning over the guardrail, enjoy the view too before approaching her. If she's relaxing on the recliner, get her a cool drink if she runs out. If she's tanning, don't offer to put lotion unless you have enough balls! If you're in a bar, standard bar rules apply. Are you in the buffet? Ask her if you can sit next to her or opposite her. Be sure she's relaxed enough to accept your offer!

4. Talk about travel. Since you're both on a cruise, use that as an opening line. Ask them if they're enjoying themselves. Ask them if they go often. If both of you are cruise regulars, exchange travel experiences. I've met quite a few friends this way! Fellow travelers love to tell stories, so take advantage of that. Be sure to let her speak, too! And remember to talk to her face, not to her chest.

5. Know when to back off. It may be hard at first, but you should sense when the woman doesn't want to talk to you any longer. When you see her look at her watch often when you're talking, try to end the conversation. Watch out if she's bored or unamused. Try to read her! If you leave without damaging your confidence, it will be easier to try for the next girl.

I'm not really a player, but I always look for a companion on a cruise, friend or more. It adds to the experience and enjoyment, since you meet someone new. How about you? What stuff works on a cruise?

How To Make Any Relationship Successful - 3 Essential Factors You Can't Afford To Miss

Most people pursue happiness in life but they can never achieve it unless they are happy in their relationships. Relationships form the foundation of a person's emotional state and his happiness or grief more of less depend on the way he is emotionally. You see in order to make sure there are no bumps in a relationship you must follow some extremely essential principles. Read on to discover what these principles are and achieve the desired results within no time by using them...

Be flexible - Relationships are all about making compromises therefore learn to be flexible instead of rigid. You should be willing to shed your ego whenever necessary and consider the wants and needs of your partner. You see it's more or less a two way thing and a relationship can never survive in the long term is one of the partner is unhappy with the other.

Admit to your mistakes - One of the best possible ways to end all arguments within a matter of seconds is to simply admit to your mistakes instead of fighting over them. You see admitting to your mistakes does not make you small rather it gives your partner the indication that you are strong enough to admit to your mistakes whenever you are wrong.

Make your partner feel wanted and loved - Now this is the core foundation of a strong relationship. Every human being has a basic need to feel significant and feel loved. And this love has to be unconditional. You see the moment you start taking your partner for granted the relationship starts going down hill. This is the major reason why you must make your partner feel loved and wanted.

Prevent Break Ups and Bring Back Lost Love

Keeping a relationship is hard, if you feel that your relationship is going on a wrong direction and you really want things to work between you and your partner, there are things you can do to prevent break ups. Your relationship may be going through rough times now but it doesn't mean it has to end.

We all go through problems and issues in a relationship and the important thing is to recognize the problem and learn to resolve the problem to prevent break ups. Breaking up is the most painful thing that could happen in a relationship and preventing it to happen will save you and your partner to go through unbearable pains.

If your relationship is on its way to a break up, you need to act immediately and do not let things to get worse, you need to sit down with your spouse or partner to talk about the problem. Holding back or delaying things and thinking that this is something you cannot do or you are waiting for her or him to make the first move may not be necessary at this point.

You and your spouse may go through arguments and disagreements, but this is normal in a relationship. What you will do or say during the argument could affect the status of your relationship. Learning how to argue objectively is hard especially if there is anger or disappointment involved but there is no other way but to learn to argue fairly to prevent break ups. Avoid bringing up topics not related to your argument. Choosing the wrong words or action will not prevent break ups but instead it may prompt your spouse to leave. Put yourself in the position of your spouse before saying things that will hurt him or her. You may use the word "I" instead of You" to make your spouse feel that you are just upset but not blaming him or her.

Relationship Breakup Help - 3 Tips You Need To Know

Do you need help with your Relationship breakup? Mere words cannot describe the devastation, the pain, the anger, the torrent of intense emotions one feels when they realize that they're to part ways with their life and love partner.

And that goes for both sides - the one who initiated the relationship breakup and the one broken up with.

Crying for relationship breakup help is natural - it's human. I don't know about the guy who sees this as a weakness, but he sure doesn't know what it's like to be in your situation.

If you're looking for solid and practical relationship breakup help, this simple article would help you greatly.

Relationship Breakup Help Tip 1 - Acceptance

So you're feeling intense emotional pain, depression, resentment?

Accept them. Realize that these are feelings are natural. If you need to cry or scream - then do so. Others may look at crying as a sign of fragility. But that is a huge mistake!

Matter of fact, crying and venting out is one of the best ways to rid yourself of these burdening negative feelings.

Here's a good perspective: By accepting these emotions and giving yourself time and breathing space to let it out, you're making room for positive feelings to live and thrive in.

Relationship Breakup Help Tip 2- Know Why

Feeling a lot better now? Good. Let's move on to the next tip.

Ask yourself this question: Why did you breakup in the first place?

I know there could be a thousand reasons why. It could be they've found someone else, they feel neglected, the passion died out, etc.

Here's what I've found to be reason why life and love partners leave:

For women, they're naturally emotional beings. They want to feel emotional support. They want to feel that their opinions and more importantly their feelings are respected.

If you fail to emotionally satisfy your lady, no matter how good looking you re, how much money you have, or how many gifts you shower her in a month...she'll feel neglected and leave.

Men, on the other hand, would breakup with their girlfriend or wife once they feel that the water runs dry...the relationship becomes monotonous. They feel that there's nothing to look forward to...nothing to keep them longing for more.

You may want to use this as a guide when trying to know the reason behind the breakup, and you may want to drill down deeper.

Relationship Breakup Help Tip 3 - Change

Now that you know the reason why your wife or husband left you - the part of your personality that pushed them away. It's about time to change it.

Whether it's being too emotionally clingy or being indifferent to your partner's feelings, you have to take action to and change.

And you better make sure that you're able to keep those changes. Reverting back to your old ways will only set both of you for greater pain and another stinging breakup...which would be impossible to fix the second time.

Keep these 3 relationship breakup tips closely in mind. It's not yet too late to grab your partner's heart back.

Go and take action.

Can My Relationship Be Saved? A Simple Question With A Simple Answer

I did something terrible?

In a word, YES - your relationship can still be saved even if you did something terrible. Unless you pointed a gun to your ex or shouted profanity at her down to her great grandmother, then you'd better ask something else than if your relationship can be saved. I've seen and helped people rebuild their relationships - that includes a friend of mine who was left by his wife for someone richer, younger, and better looking! Now before you rush off and do your moves, here's a word of warning:

Forget about what you see in the movies and reality TV shows! Don't even think about Kneeling and begging for forgiveness, bombarding your ex with text messages or filling her inbox with the same "I love you" e-mails. There's no director that shouts "Cut!" and gives you a second, third, or fourth take when things don't go as planned. These stunts aren't the answer to the "can my relationship be saved?" question.

When you're faced with a breakup, you're filled with intense and very negative emotions. They make the situation more confusing! You'd sure go ballistic and end up doing the things I advised you stay away from if you don't take proper action.

The first step in making up to your love partner is clearing yourself of these feelings. How? Give you and your ex some time and breathing space - that means accepting the breakup for now. The time you'll spend alone is crucial if ever you're going to get his or her heart back. During these hours, let it all out - the resentment, the pain, the anger, etc.

Cry if you have to. If you can cry it out with your friends, all the better. That would provide you with a supportive environment that need the most during these gloomy hours. Understanding why they left you is the next step to making up. Ask yourself questions like: Is it my clinginess, my indifference that shooed my ex away? Or have I become too repetitive and droning in our relationship?

Don't make excuses or reasons; critically and objectively answer those questions.

The final step is to change that attitude or that personality of yours that drove your ex away. And you better make sure that these changes are something you can keep. Otherwise, you'd only be setting you and your ex for a stinging disappointment and a more painful breakup. This time it may be impossible for you to save it. That plan I've given you above may sound too common or too simple. But that very same action plan has saved a lot of relationships and marriages - including mine.

So take action and don't do crazy things!

7-Step Foolproof Guide to Creating a Terrible Relationship

No one SAYS they want a terrible relationship, yet so many people go about creating them that we need to assume they must WANT them! So, here's my 7 Step foolproof guide to creating a terrible relationship.

1. Take no responsibility for your own feelings

Make sure that you do not take responsibility for your own feelings and your own sense of safety and security. Make sure that you ignore your feelings enough so that you create an empty black hole inside that needs to be filled up by sex, things, or by someone else's love or attention.

2. Find someone to do it for you

Look for someone to fill your emptiness, someone to make you feel loved, happy, safe and secure. A good way to determine if this is the right person is if he or she comes on REALLY strong, promising you the world, or at least great sex.

3. Once you find the right person, be sure to behave in one of the two following ways:

a. Completely give yourself up

Completely put yourself aside, focusing all your attention on the other person's feelings and needs. Your hope is that if you are wonderful enough and sacrifice yourself enough, the other person will give you the love you are seeking. Be sure to completely ignore your own feelings and needs, no matter what the other person does. Be the best caretaker you can be to try to have control over getting the other person's love and approval.

b. Demand the other person live up to your expectations

Start slow, gradually building to becoming more and more demanding of the other person. If he or she doesn't meet your expectations, be sure to criticize, blame, chastise, berate, threaten, ignore, yell at, belittle, lecture, debate, and argue with your partner. Your job is to gain control over getting the other person to completely give him or herself up and focus only on filling your emptiness and needs with their love, approval, attention, sex, devotion, time, and adoration. Be the best taker you can be, making sure to keep your partner feeling guilty and responsible for your feelings of security and self-esteem.

4. Be the victim

As your relationship starts to decline, move more and more into thinking and behaving as a victim of the other person's choices. This will lead to more fights or to distance, lack of passion, lack of fun, and a complete inability to communicate about anything, even minor situations. In any discussions, be sure to seek to be right, win your point, and make your partner wrong. After all, this is a competition for who is the good one and the right one. Or, just collapse and give in, a great way to be a victim.

5. Withdraw

Start to spend less and less time with your partner, spending it alone or with other people, or in front of the TV. Convince yourself that your misery is completely your partner's fault, and that you picked the wrong person, again. NEVER EVER take any responsibility for your own feelings, needs, behavior, and choices. Never forget that you are the victim.

6. Get your partner into counseling

Seek counseling to get your partner to change. Do NOT enter counseling to deal with your own controlling behavior of being a taker or caretaker. Rather, be sure to tell the therapist everything your partner does wrong, using the therapist's office as just another arena to prove that you are right and your partner is wrong, or you are the good one and your partner is the bad one.

7. You did it!

Congratulations! You have succeeded in creating a terrible relationship! Now you can miserably and righteously leave your partner and do the whole thing again! You get to complain to all your friends about what a terrible person your ex-partner is and get sympathy for all you've been though. What a reward for all your hard work!

Relationship Advice - Should You Ask Friends For Advice?

Friends are special. They give us lots of pleasure and support. They make us feel good. They care about us. And they want us to be happy.

Should we ask them for advice on our relationships? Well, some people fear they have nowhere else to turn, so they ask their friends or relatives what they should do about their relationships.

The Best Policy

Yes, a friend may offer sound advice, but no one can tell you what's right for you or your relationships. Relationship decisions are best left up to you.

Although friends may be eager to help, they can only speak from their experience, their beliefs and values, and the perspective of their relationship history.

Your perspective will be different.

Your friends and family members will not have the experience with your particular situation. Their counsel will come from their own situations and life experience.

Plus, we often put our friends in the position of telling us what we want to hear -- or confirming our thinking on a given subject: it is sometimes hard for a friend to shoot straight with us.

It is usually the best policy to draw upon your own personal experience, inner resources and the direction provided by your own conscience when making decisions about your relationships. You can accept all the advice in the world, but when it comes down to it, you have to decide for yourself.

Some People Want Someone To Tell Them What To Do

Some people seek the advice of a psychic in matters of the heart . . . or someone who will tell them what to do. Wouldn't that make life so much easier if we could make others responsible for our own hard decisions?

But no one can speak from your experience or address your needs better than you.

What You Can Do

Trust yourself.

Consult your heart and muster the courage to make your own decisions about your life -- you're the one who has to deal with the consequences of your decisions.

Benjamin Franklin said there are three hard things in life: steel, diamonds and knowing oneself. OK, so maybe he left off tungsten . . . but you get the point.

Strive to know yourself and make your own decisions. Your life will be so much better.

To make your relationship decisions easier, try a simple formula I often share with my clients: listen to yourself . . . and that includes your heart, head and conscience.

How To Overcome Jealousy In Romantic Relationships

May be you are too jealous but as you might have realized, it does not come by choice. It is a strong emotion which works you up to regrettable levels. May be you are the kind of a person that does very stupid things at the heat of the moment and you are left embarrassed. You might spot your lover with a prospectus boss, start hailing abuses and may be even get physical. This is a dangerous level which might drive your lover away from you unless it is kept in check. To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships in romantic relationships, you must first of all discover the root of the disturbing emotion. Did she cheat on you once? Does the other person shower him with overflowing favors? It will do you good if you understand the root of insecurity.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships in romantic relationships, learn how to handle competition. Attractive people are approached for dating all the time. Accept what you cannot change and walk around it. To remain top on the list you must be able to beat others who might be in competition for her/his love. Jealousy will only eat you up and leave you feeling bad, sad and unloved. Do not walk in the shadow of ignorance. If you do not reveal your jealousy, you will learn so much about your lover. He/she will voluntarily tell you about who is chasing after him or her but just with a light touch. Your reaction might determine what should be communicated to you in the future. If you are abreast with his/her admirers you are way step ahead because you have a chance to beat them before they start their game. To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships encourage openness in a relationship.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships, talk about it. When your lover knows that it is makes you uneasy when you are in a company of some people, he/she is a position to do a lot to save you the agony. She might start flirting with you when the company is around and may be the public show of affection will reduce your insecurity thus help you overcome jealousy in romantic relationships. She is best placed to assure you her love and take it a step further by announcing it to the whole world. Do not die with your feelings. Confess what your love for her is driving at. Chances are it will do you more good than harm. Off course when you declare your emotions it will be a sure sign of love and affection towards her.

Why i encourage communication is because some things we do as human beings are intentional. Your lover might be subjecting you to so much heartache in a mission to prove a thing. These are games lovers play. Some believe that a jealous lover is a true lover. Due to the rising levels of betrayal and malice in the dating scene, people are keen to look for real love. She might be raining praises about another gentleman just to watch your reaction. If you respond positively, the subjection stops and life continues. If you consider it a weakness and persevere you are subjected to more. Do not overcome jealousy in romantic relationships on your own. Involve your lover and you might even discover it was not your weakness after all.

How To Live Dating Life To The Fullest As A Single Parent

Single parenthood is a challenge and i have all due respect for all the single parents. Kudos single parents! You are to be admired. You were brave enough to leave that jerk of man. If you are a man you deserve to be congratulated since you did not fear the responsibility of bringing up the kids. I sincerely love your guts. Being single does not mean that you have to deny yourself some worldly pleasures. You need them to live a full dating life because that is why you left your spouse after all. You must have realized that something was missing in your life. You can simply get that one thing which can add glory to your life as a single parent and ensure that you are living your life to the fullest.

What are the circumstances that led to your separation with the mother or father to your kids? However weighty is the matter, put it at the back of your mind and establish a new foundation for your dating life. It has no rehearsals and a mistake is a mistake when we refuse to see it as an experience to learn from. You might have encouraged a relationship which withdrew a lot from you but you should learn to never say die. That should be the spirit to help you live a dating life to the fullest as a single parent. Did your partner leave you because you were poor? Do not lower your self esteem over such opinions because it will only take you down the drain. May be your partner left you wondering why she/he had to leave. You thought you were the best lover but you were proved wrong. Those might be disturbing thoughts and assumptions but do not even go there. You are better than that. You can still love and be loved if you allow yourself to.

Have you ever noticed that the more you love yourself the more others love you? It is not a myth but a fact. This is because you have so much love for yourself and you can share out the surplus. When you love people, they reciprocate and love you back. As a single parent you need this thing called love all the time. You need to have enough of it to love your kids and compensate for them what their other parent would be giving them. If there is anyone who needs to live dating life to the fullest then it has to be you.

I really need you single parent to break out of your cocoon and start having fun in dating. I understand it is easy to say i will never love again after being left as a single parent but hey, is your partner still single? There are many people out there who can give you unimaginable happiness. If love comes your way, love like you have never been hurt before. Believe in love and you will live dating life to the fullest. If you say you will never date in fear of break up and heartaches, then you will never have fun. people come our way for a reason and once it is accomplished they have to leave. If it was not for your partner you would not be having that little baby that keeps you smiling all the time.

Why I Think It Is Wise To Make A Confession in Relationships

Human is to error, we do it all the time. It is so natural. The problem comes in when we dwell so much in our mistakes. This does not leave behind the area of relationships. If anything it is the most affected. Is confession in relationships important in our lives? Should you reveal your past to your lover? Should you reveal about a past affair? Is it better left unsaid? These and more are some of the questions which flood the floor of dating debates. Why should it be so easy to confess our love for each other, how generous we are and fail to talk about our little or big secrets? It leaves everything to chance.

Revealing your past is important to your partner if you are hoping to go far. He/she would rather hear it from you rather than hear it from a third party. The revelation that you are hiding something from your lover paralyzes all the feelings and break any existing bond. The consequences are so severe that i would rather you tell him early enough. A great hindrance to confession in relationships is that many people put a front when they start dating. They walk in other people's shoes and hide their true identity. Before they even know it the relationship is established and it is then that it becomes so hard to confess their real self to their lovers in fear of being rejected.

For instance many women do not go around telling every interested lover that they have a kid. In their assumptions, such a revelation would spoil the fun of the moment. This is most common with campus girls. They fear to be stereo typed by these gentlemen because they are mothers. This is a big mistake. What will happen to your solid relationship when you are out of campus? Should you terminate your relationship to save your face? How will your lover feel once the truth is out in the open? You would have owned up to your baby from the word go. Such a confession in relationships should be done prior to any plans of your life together.

If you are a married man you will agree with me that it is very hard to move on with your marriage relationship after an affair. It actually requires a lot of grace from God. You have strayed enough and now you are back home with the revelation that your partner is the best lover you could ever get. It becomes harder especially if you were rude and harsh to her just because you were outsourcing some love. Will you move on like nothing happened? Such confession in relationships help married couples to collect the pieces and move on. It would be good if you apologize and explain the facts which pushed you away. This will prevent another similar instance. Explain why you are back to stay and forge a way forward. If you do not confess your sins, the guilt won't let you relate well with your partner. The declaration that your significant other has forgiven you makes it easy to move on and restrict you to a morally straightened relationship.

How to Benefit From Your Workplace-Business Relationships

You are always an integral part of an association, whether you are aware of it or not. The largely overlooked associations are the employer-employee partnership and professional partnership. Your ability to thrive, in your professional endeavors, at all times depends on how healthy your association is. Your growth also means more benefits for your partner, whether an employer or a colleague with whom you exchange ideas, services or products.

In ecological studies, one is exposed to a variety of associations, including parasitic-where an organism, like blood suckers, feeds and survives at the expense of a host. The host may die thus leading to the death of the parasite. That's a detrimental association.

In a symbiotic relationship, both organisms survive and live together. A symbiotic relationship is the association where two different species live together, each benefiting, in one way or another, from its associate. Take a rhino and a certain species of birds-they live symbiotically. Each depends on the other for survival. The rhino has ticks that the bird needs for food. The bird helps the rhino in two ways. It remove ticks from the rhino's body and when it (the bird) sees an animal that might attack the rhino, it jumps up and down making the rhino know it is time to run for cover. They need each other.

If you build and treat your employer-employee partnership or professional association from a symbiotic relationship perspective, you increase your odds of always having a job, professional growth or business opportunities. The resources that you need to thrive under different circumstances will be within your reach in most cases.

Here are top on how to benefit from a symbiotic relationship.

1. Be governed by one motive-that, "What you do for yourself can get you by. What you do for others is what will get you ahead; whether in your profession, spiritual pursuits or relationships."

2. Know what the other party wants from the association. What skills do your think your employer needs to be profitable? What services, ideas or products does the other party want by associating with you?

3. You must be clear on what you want from the association before you waste your time, energy or even tangible resources.

4. Commit to give your best for the survival and thriving of the other party. Think about it, it's hard to be the first one to be downsized by a company that you have helped become profitable. It's hard for another party not to give you businesses if you have helped them succeed.

5. Always check with the other party to see whether or not it is still satisfied with your input, or your quality of services or products.

6. Be courageous enough to share ideas on how things can be improved, whether you are rewarded for your ideas or not.

7. Keep improving what you offer to the association, even when the improvement is not expected.

8. When things change, notify the other party before they learn about it from another source.

A leaders motivational keynote speaker and trainer, Dr. Vincent Muli Kituku, CSP works with organizations and individuals who want to increase their productivity, stay focused and have a sustained desire to make success a lifestyle and a choice. Vincent's inspirational speeches are catalysts for unlimited results that have led to Dr. Kituku being described as a research-based motivational speaker/trainer. His storytelling skills have won awards for both spoken and written words are attributed to improved morale, accountability, motivation and ownership by all employees. Dr. Kituku is one of the less than 7% speakers to earn the coveted Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) recognition, the highest designation presented by the National Speakers Association.

Wherever he speaks, people from all backgrounds agree that words cannot describe Vincent but that he must be experienced. His ability to captivate audiences with content, interaction and entertainment has made him not only a sought after speaker but an annual presenter for key organizations. No one is ever the same after listening and applying Dr. kituku's strategies and wisdom into their work and life endeavors.

How Necessary Is Digging Into Your Partner's Past

You have gone too far to think of calling it quits. What do you think? Is it necessary to dig into your partner's past? Every one has a past and a future. If you want to succeed in family life, I beg you to let the sleeping dogs lie. What you don't know can't hurt you so give up the curiosity and replace it with focus. May be it is something which triggered your search and you feel your soul won't rest until you find out the truth about your partner's past. Do the searching for your peace of mind to be able to move on with your relationship. It depends with the case at hand for that matter.

What do you do when for instance you find some document revealing that your spouse was once in jail? This is a partner's past you cannot assume. Do you panic and move with lightening speed? No, of course you will have an urge to dig into his past and find out exactly what happened. The fact that you did not get it from your spouse will force you to solicit for the information from other sources. This kind of digging is important for you as a partner. You might be sitting on a time bomb. The results dictates the next course of action as you may be in a relationship with a drugs dealer. May be even the love for you is fiction. In such cases run fast and never turn back. It is a heart breaking exercise but a good prevention to future surprises.

I say it depends with the case because their are some cases which are not worth investigating. If you happen to gather the information that your wife aborted twice before you got married, throw it to the wind. It is a partner's past that might do you more harm than good. I know it might be annoying, disgusting and inhuman but you should feel flattered that she decided to mother your kids. She is the mother of your kids, your friend, financial partner and so much more. Things change and you should appreciate what you currently see in your wife. Before you judge you should take some time to evaluate your own life. You might be having some dark past too but it has never seen the light of the day. It is all human. Think positively and dismiss discouraging thoughts.

Digging into your partner's past should not be an agenda in your relationship. It feels bad to have a spouse who is always sniffing around and about your life. If it does not happen by accident you are ruining your relationship. It is good to trust what you hear from your spouse and take it as gospel truth. Do not waste energy investigating what you have no clue about. Their are some annoying partners who will squeeze out all your childhood details from your relatives and then use them against them. One would be forgiven for smashing such a partner's head. This is obsession which kills the relationship as time passes and they gather more unnecessary details.

How To Enhance Your Long Distance Relationship Step By Step

Do long distance relationships work or is it just a waste of time? There are people who find love far and wide. They are not restricted in any way by geographical boundaries. They are exploring looking for love through the chat rooms and dating sites on the Internet. The modern technology has made long distance relationship a success and even better than a normal relationship. The sophistication of such a relationship is one to be admired. Many are of the idea that their love can get greater than geography; that their true mates are far away in a different country, state or even continent. How do you make a long distance relationship work?

You might be physically apart but your hearts are so much together. To make your long distance relationship work, agree on how often you will keep in touch. You will agree with me that communication is the number one ingredient to a relationship that works. You can be together but you have to be forced to talk. It doesn't matter where you are geographically as long as you communicate. For instance you can agree to be calling each other at night either two or three times. You can as well send several e-mails a day. Nowadays people are mostly using e-mail and phones to kill distance but it would be a special treat to drop a hand written letter at your lovers home. It gives them butterflies and a feeling that you are closer.

When you are discussing the contacts issue, discuss about your physical visits. Who should visit who first and how often. This will clear the course your long distance relationship will be taking. What do you talk about in your conversations? Do you continuously whine about how much you love and miss each other? Considerable content of this is fine but do not dwell on it day in day out. Let your long distance relationship partner feel part of your life by telling him/her your every day experiences. Tell them about your nagging neighbor, your experience with the bad smelling guy you sat next to in the bus and may be an unexpected car puncture.

You should not wait until the time you will physically come together. You should practice phone sex to keep each other faithful and trusted. Spice up your feelings and enjoy your time apart by having sex the fantasizing way. The brain is the greatest sex organ and you have it with you. Make it happen by the descriptions of your love making through the small gadget. Send to each other dirty stories or lyrics via e-mail or put it in phone lines. Provided you do not print them you are still safe. Finally, to enhance long distance relationship, you should stay active in your social life. Meet your other friends and have fun. The last thing you want is to be home so alone and bored. This will make you resent your partner for being so far away from you.

Attention New Moms - Overcoming a Negative Body Image in Bed

Carson Kressley has hit a nerve. Maybe that's why his Lifetime television program, How to Look Good Naked, is one of the most popular reality shows on television. Most women are terribly insecure with their bodies in bathing suits, let alone naked.

While I watched his interview on Oprah, I couldn't help but think of new moms. Staring at one's baby pooch can be flat out depressing, squelching any kind of desire to get naked with one's husband. Yet it's still important to re-engage sexually with your husband. And a big part of that is about overcoming a negative body image in bed.

In their excellent book, Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex, authors Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus have a chapter titled, "Where Can I Go to Buy a New Body?" Can you relate? They asked 25 friends of their friends if they were satisfied with their bodies. Every single one of them said no. They claimed to be too tall or too short, too fat or too skinny.

Today's woman has bought into the lie that she has to look like a Victoria Secret model to be sexy. But being a great lover in bed has more to do with your attitude than your measurements.

So what can a new mother do to overcome her disdain for her body, and celebrate lovemaking with her husband, even if the lights are on?

1. Remember that your husband loves you and your body. Dr. John Gray, author of Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, says "When a man is in love and turned on by his wife, he is also totally entranced by the feminine beauty of her body, regardless of where the media would rank it on a scale of one to ten."

2. Change your attitude from "me centered" to "he centered." Put your husband first. Don't fixate on your insecurities. Instead think of how you can please him. When you take the spotlight off yourself and put it on your spouse, you forget about your imperfections.

3. Avoid the dangers of pornography. 40 million adults in the US regularly visit Internet porn sites. Pornography is a major problem in families today, dividing husbands and wives sexually and emotionally. Moms, don't allow your insecurity about your body to stand in the way of meeting your husband's sexual needs.

When you offer your body to your spouse out of love, it doesn't matter what shape or size you are. Be encouraged - it is possible to be sexy in bed after baby. And don't worry about the extra love handles. They will come off in time with some work on your part. For now, concentrate on your attitude. Don't be afraid to keep the lights on and get naked with your husband.

5 Ways to Attract the Relationships You Want

There has been a time in my life when relationships were a source of great discontentment in my life. I worked around negative people. I didn't have a lot of the kinds of friends I wanted. I was in a marriage that was lonely and filled with conflict. Although today all my relationships are not perfect, I feel blessed with the quality of people in my life. Much has changed and I've learned a lot about how to attract the relationships I want in life.

When you think about relationships, our lives are filled with so many. You may have a spouse whom you share your life with. You probably have children who you interact with on a regular basis. No doubt you have a few friends or maybe many friends. You might be a daughter to a mom and dad, a niece to an aunt or uncle, or a sister to one or more siblings. It's possible that you work or volunteer with people everyday. Are your relationships everything you want them to be? Do they nurture you and fill you up or do they drain your energy, leaving you feeling depleted? If you're like most people, you probably have relationships that do a little of both.

Relationships are essential to our survival and well being. God did not create us to go through life alone. Our relationships teach us more about who we are and who we are not. They highlight what we want in life and what we don't want. Relationships challenge us to grow in ways we might not grow on our own. When you think about your own relationships, I want to encourage you to look at ways you might attract more of what you want from your relationships.

Know What You Want

Do you know exactly what you want in a relationship? Is it the same for every kind of relationship you have? Make a list of the criteria you have for a positive or healthy relationship. Your list might look something like this:

* The parties must treat each other with respect
* There needs to be an acceptance and appreciation of each other's differences
* Each person should know how to resolve issues without fighting or arguing
* The relationships should provide an emotional connection
* We should work together in a way that is fair for all parties involved
* We should support and encourage one another
* There needs to be openness and honesty with thoughts and feelings
* We need to be able to laugh and have fun together

Now you can look at each of your relationships and decide if it meets your requirements. If not, you have a starting point for creating what you want. All of us, at any time, have five choices regarding our relationships. We can accept the relationship the way it is and be happy. We can remain a victim to the relationship. We can change the relationship. We can change our perspective of the relationship. We can leave the relationship.

Change Your Beliefs about What You Deserve

If you want the best relationships have to offer, you have to believe you deserve the best. Otherwise, you will settle for less than the best. At your core, what do you believe about relationships and people? Some limiting beliefs might be:

* All marriage partners fight.
* Most people in corporate America are negative.
* You have to be careful about who you trust.
* Most people are in a relationship for themselves.
* There are no good guys or good gals left - they're all married.

Whatever you believe, you will attract. So start believing what you want is truly possible.

Be Who Your Ideal Is

In my workshops, I tell women that if they want to attract inspiring friends, they must be an inspiring friend. We are energetic human beings, and like energy attracts like energy. The other day a woman shared a story about lunchtime at her place of business. All the co-workers would sit around in the lunchroom eating their lunches. One person would start to complain about the company or her job, and then the next person would chime in. Before you know it, a gripe session had begun. This woman told me that she found herself not being who she wanted to be, and instead joining the negativity with the rest of the crowd. Go back to your criteria for a positive and healthy relationship, and be all of those characteristics in your relationships. You will be a leader and force of change in your own life.

Stop the Ugly Dance

In the most intimate relationships, we often engage in the ugly dance. Our partner, or someone we're very close to, will say something that triggers us. From our subconscious mind, we react, and the dance begins. This happened to me the other day when I was talking to my mom. She said to me, "This year I am not going to go all out for Christmas because my kids don't appreciate it." There was the bait. In the past, this fish (me) would have taken a bite of that bait, but not this time. I stopped what could have been an ugly dance. I refrained from defending myself and telling her that she was wrong. I let my mom have her feelings while I just listened and politely changed the subject. Every person that comes into a relationship, including ourselves, has some emotional baggage we carry with us. Drop the luggage and stop the ugly dance.

Create a Sacred Space

Michael Port, renowned business coach and author of "Book Yourself Solid", talks about having a red velvet rope policy in your business. I like to use that policy in my life. Imagine you are entering a high quality event like an opera or The Grammy Awards ceremony. You walk up to the attendant and hand him your high priced ticket and he opens the red velvet rope to let you through. Pretend your life is that high quality event and you get to decide who enters that sacred space. One of my friends is a very inspiring person. A lot of people want to enter her sacred space, but only a few get past the red velvet rope. Is it because she is mean? No, it is because she understands the importance of protecting her energy and keeping her life positive. Who gets to enter your sacred space?

Positive and high energy relationships will add more to your life than you can imagine. So start today and attract exactly what you want from your relationships. Your life will be forever blessed with peace, happiness and fulfillment.