The Power of Asking Versus the Force of Telling

A while back I got a different sort of meeting request at work. I was being summonsed to assist with an audit objective and it seemed important. If I didn't already know it was important, I soon surmised it as critical when I read the coloured label "Must Attend"! Needless to say, I was otherwise free, so I accepted the invitation.

Yet, I felt not-quite-right about it. Later that day I reflected on this experience and then recognised what I felt earlier was a form of instant aggrievement at being 'told' I must attend. Several times during the ensuing period prior to the meeting I reflected, and the more I did, the more the very minor resentment burgeoned within me.

Then, on the day of the meeting, a colleague, who was also told he 'must attend,' approached me in planning for the meeting, and he also voiced his displeasure in receiving the invitation in this manner. It reminded me of the negotiation principle of the 'power of asking versus the force of telling.' We both joked how we felt like boycotting the meeting. Now, how childish would that have been?

The meeting transpired and it was a normal meeting and the person requesting the meeting was anything but the ogre they'd come across as. I certainly didn't feel told what to do -- it didn't end up that way at all.

In reflecting on this discussion I felt I had let myself down, and the person who had sent the meeting invite, for having the feelings of resentment and for sharing this with another person, regardless how minor.

But, I also thought, "Do I cause resentments in others by virtue of my demands on them?"

Being told what to do reminds us of being a child; of having little or no control over things. Being asked however generates a totally different effect, and the power of influence is suddenly open to use. People might feel privileged to be asked or genuinely invited. Being asked is also a question that intuits a response -- it is voluntary. Being told is a command, and commands don't often work these days. Even in authority circles, commands don't work very well. (And how many people still don't get this?!)

There is real power in asking and employing age-old principles of influence. You will get more, and achieve more with people, when you ask and don't tell. You'll also retain something far more important -- your relationship with the people affected. It only takes a little more effort and creativity to ask rather than tell.

Make a commitment to yourself to ask more questions, particularly when it comes to seeking commitment from others to do things you want them to do. Work also on finding creative ways of persuading people so they will actually want to do your thing.

Do You Need Wedding Linens For Your Reception?

Every year, over two million couples take the biggest in their adult lives and get married. While there are many decisions to be made when planning a wedding, the reception is usually considered the event where people can loosen up after the ceremony, which can be quite stressful for some. Wedding linens are a popular and elegant way to add a beautiful look and feel to a reception. By using high quality wedding linens, a couple can change the different aspects of the design of their reception to make it more representative of who they are.

While everyone these days seem to use wedding linens and use the services of wedding linen rental companies, some people who have never planned a wedding wonder whether or not they are actually needed. By looking at your own situation, you can understand if you need to use high quality linens for your wedding.

What is the Style or Theme of your Wedding?

The style or theme of your wedding can directly affect your decision of the quality, fabric and style of your wedding linens. Because of the way that wedding linens can be used, they can have a dramatic effect on how your wedding reception looks and feels. The linens can be used as the tablecloths and be rotated and draped in different ways to make the tables more classy and interesting.

Stylish chair covers can be used as a way to bring in a more elegant and inviting look to your wedding reception. If you are looking for a certain style (simple, traditional or elegant) for your wedding reception, you have numerous choices to look at when you eventually choose your wedding linens rental company.

Another important aspect to consider for wedding linens is your choice of colors and fabrics for your wedding reception. If you have certain "colors" you would like to see all over, the use of table linens can help. Accents and colors for table linens and chair covers can be incredibly helpful as far as design is concerned. It is important to understand that wedding linens is an incredible way to add visual excitement to your reception.

Wedding Linens Actually Serve Two Purposes

Wedding linens serve more of a purpose than simply a design aesthetic. The tables and chairs that are provided in your reception space may have some age and wear and tear on them, or may simply not work with the design. By using wedding linens, you can cover the tables and chairs and bring a brand new look to the room. Also, if you have a large number of tables and chairs, it's possible to have mismatching items that should be covered to help the design.

Wedding linens are a great way to add a quality experience for your guests at your reception. Although it's not 100% necessary to use wedding linen rentals, but if you speak with people how have, there are almost not regrets since the quality and choices are often limited by what the hotel can offer you.

Taking Care Of Your Relationship

Anyway you look at it, most of our concerns are in one way or another, connected with our relationships. For example, those who are usually belittled often experience low self esteem. Those who are not accepted by their peers can lead to anger.

Those who are lonely and isolated often have feelings of vulnerability and rejection. Indeed the many feelings that we experience can be traced to our relationships. In the same way the positive feelings we experience also stem from the relationships we cultivate.

Indeed, relationships are significant in our life. We cannot escape the fact that our lives revolved around relationships. We deal with our family members, friends, colleagues, and peers and nourish our relationships with them. Every aspect of our daily life is affected by these relationships. We even have relationships, albeit short ones, to those people we don't know, such as interaction with a sales agent, or going to our physician. Thus it is important that we cultivate and nourish these relationships so they can bring in positive feelings and experiences for us.

What we make of our relationship determines the feelings we have. For relationships that are loving, friendly, warm, we associate with feelings of being encouraged, refreshed, connected, and accepted. Meanwhile the relationships that result in conflict and hurt can lead to emotional pain and stress especially if they are left unresolved.

We can build relationships in the same way that we can tear them down. How we value our relationship has an effect on how the relationship turns out. If we put care and attention to them our relationships will turn out to be good ones. Shower kindness and love and there's a good chance that our relationship will be beneficial and happy.

It is us who make our relationships work. It is important that we assess our relationships. Think of how we deal with our friends, loved ones, and family members. Ask if you are treating them in the way that you would like to treat you. Are you being forgiving? Or are you usually seeking for revenge? Are you always seeking for peace in your relationships? Are you the first to take notice of your loved one's shortcomings and make it the cause of a rocky relationship?

If we only seek to assess our relationships and make ways to improve them, then we can all be assured of happiness and excitement.

Relationship Tips

Relationship tips are necessary to ensure that you're giving and getting the best out of your involvement with others. Everybody has relationships. Some are bad, good, mediocre, exciting, tense, loving and so much more. One thing is for certain--great relationships are key to a person's happiness.

There's a common saying that people in love don't get colds. The reason being that a loving relationship or many loving relationships, can make even the most unpleasant of people happy. Having great relationships improves the quality of your life. It's important to learn how to recognize what makes someone a good friend and also how to be one.

Healthy relationships can really boost a person's mental, emotional, even physical state, whereas unhealthy even toxic relationships can be the cause of frustration, unhappiness and depression. You must strive to seek out the qualities in people that you believe are important in being a good friend, and you must also return the favor. For instance, if loyalty is an important quality in your friends, then you must also master this quality and show your loyalty to others. Others will recognize this quality in you and want to treat you as well as you treat them. It's a win-win situation

Our top ten relationship tips will help you to begin nurturing the people in your life and your relationship with them. Whether you're looking to improve things between you and your best friend, sibling or partner, these relationship tips can work for you.

Remember that it takes two to make things work in relationships, so get ready to take a look at yourself and see how you can take these relationship tips and include them in your overall self improvement.

1. Be clear about who your friends are. Divide people you know into categories, "Family," "Close Friends," "Acquaintances," and "Work Colleagues." Being clear on who your friends are and which group they belong to will help you determine how much quality time you spend with them. This will help you to realize who gets priority in terms of quality time with you. You'll know not to waste time with people who you may not necessarily be interested in building anything with.

2. Clean up your act. If you're often late or canceling your plans with your friends at the last minute, then stop. Failing to live up to your commitments tells people that you don't respect them or their time.

3. Be honest without hurting the other person's feelings. Don't lie to get out of an event you don't want to go to. Tell your friends or spouses that you don't want to attend their event and tell them why. Put it to them gently if you think they may be upset with you, but don't lie to get out of something.

4. Don't try to be a people-pleaser. We've known a lot of people who have tried to be all things to all people and there's always the same result: it doesn't work. Save your time and energy and be yourself. The ones who love you are your real friends, the ones who don't approve or like you aren't. You don't want the latter group in your life.

5. Don't gossip. This can be especially difficult in the workforce, but essential to having a stress-free work environment. When you don't gossip, it frees up your energy to discuss important things with your friends and loved ones. In other words, speak about people as though they can hear you at all times.

6. Be generous. It's become a cliche but it's true: treat others how you would like to be treated. Nothing will make others appreciate you more than this relationship tip.

7. Listen. Listen. Listen. Sometimes it's the best thing you can do. Friends aren't always looking for a quick fix to their problem, they may just want to share something with you. If they are looking for advice from you, be sure to really listen without interrupting before you give them your opinion.

8. Give as much as you take. If your friends are constantly inviting you over (or you constantly invite yourself over!), return the favor and host an event. Your friends will feel like you're carrying your weight and appreciate you for it.

9. Communicate. If something is bothering you, let your friend/partner know about it. Do this without insulting or yelling at the other person. You might want to say something like, "I love you and really value our relationship, which is why I need to let you know that something is bothering me." Then gently let them know what is bothering you and how you think it can be fixed. Do this calmly. Your friend/partner may be upset at first, but if they value the relationship, they'll listen to what you have to say and work out a solution with you.

10. Set boundaries. Make sure that you set healthy boundaries with people. Go back to relationship tip #1 where you divided your friends into groups and set boundaries for each group. For instance, your co-workers shouldn't be calling you at home past a certain hour (unless it's an emergency). If you have a difficult time finding alone time (or down time as we like to call it), then pick a date night for yourself, inform your spouse and commit to it. Setting boundaries is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself, making it the most important of the relationship tips. Use it with the others and you'll see improvements in your relationships.