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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Relationship Advice - Should You Ask Friends For Advice?

Friends are special. They give us lots of pleasure and support. They make us feel good. They care about us. And they want us to be happy.

Should we ask them for advice on our relationships? Well, some people fear they have nowhere else to turn, so they ask their friends or relatives what they should do about their relationships.

The Best Policy

Yes, a friend may offer sound advice, but no one can tell you what's right for you or your relationships. Relationship decisions are best left up to you.

Although friends may be eager to help, they can only speak from their experience, their beliefs and values, and the perspective of their relationship history.

Your perspective will be different.

Your friends and family members will not have the experience with your particular situation. Their counsel will come from their own situations and life experience.

Plus, we often put our friends in the position of telling us what we want to hear -- or confirming our thinking on a given subject: it is sometimes hard for a friend to shoot straight with us.

It is usually the best policy to draw upon your own personal experience, inner resources and the direction provided by your own conscience when making decisions about your relationships. You can accept all the advice in the world, but when it comes down to it, you have to decide for yourself.

Some People Want Someone To Tell Them What To Do

Some people seek the advice of a psychic in matters of the heart . . . or someone who will tell them what to do. Wouldn't that make life so much easier if we could make others responsible for our own hard decisions?

But no one can speak from your experience or address your needs better than you.

What You Can Do

Trust yourself.

Consult your heart and muster the courage to make your own decisions about your life -- you're the one who has to deal with the consequences of your decisions.

Benjamin Franklin said there are three hard things in life: steel, diamonds and knowing oneself. OK, so maybe he left off tungsten . . . but you get the point.

Strive to know yourself and make your own decisions. Your life will be so much better.

To make your relationship decisions easier, try a simple formula I often share with my clients: listen to yourself . . . and that includes your heart, head and conscience.

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