Relationships and Business Schools

Business schools are not usually a great place to find a new life mate, because business schools generally have students that start off at an older age than schools of other professions. It is said that the average age of a student in business school is 27, while most other professional schools students are in their early twenties, with twenty one being the average age of most first year students.

Statistically one third of students of business schools also are either already married or in a serious committed relationships. This means that going to business school can quite commonly be a total life style change, especially going from two jobs and two pay checks to having to live off of one pay check. When you put children into the mix, this can be a huge strain on the family budget.

One way that students get more money is to apply for bursaries, scholarships and student loans, but even these are not assured, plus there is the yearly emotional rollercoaster of uncertainty of whether the student will be eligible for this "found money"

Studies report that the first year of the degree is the hardest on relationships, not only because the money is halved, but because of the 24/7 nature of the full time MBA program. There is also the problem of the going back to college mentality, with the inevitable after class pub crawls and getting home at 2 am. This certainly puts stress on relationships. Unfortunately, it is common for adults to quickly regress to their attitudes of the early 20's attitudes, and slip into the "meeting the boys after for a late night basketball game and a beer" mentality. Of course, the partner who is staying at home with the children and bringing in the pay check is often not very happy with this turn of events. This is a big factor in the expression as an MBA being the "Divorce Degree".

Often the partners, especially women, come into the first year as the supporting partner with the attitude that this life style change of their partner going back to school full time will be good in the future, so they will put up with the things that often accompany a spouse going back to school. These include from moving to a new city and losing their contacts with friends and family to less money and less time together...all the stuff that goes along with going back to school.

But often, this leads to feelings of anger and depression as they see their life being put on hold and their partner's life going full tilt ahead. This can easily lead to jealousy of the new, more exciting school life. If you think about it, it is easy to think that the partner staying at home with the children and going to work full time feels unexciting compared to the husbands peers that are learning, traveling, taking interesting exciting courses on the side. Often they will begin to worry that partner's new peers are looking a lot more attractive, and worldly compared to the person staying at home and changing diapers.

Although it may seem that the working partner is the only one feeling this way, they have to realise that they are not alone in this problem, and there are ways to diffuse and alleviate the frustrations that occur with this change of life style. Communication is the number one thing on the list of "to do" changes. Previously, partners were used to seeing each other very day, and had common interest, but school can change all of that.

Often couples set aside one night a week for a date, where they can re-bond and talk about their week. This ensures that both partners know what the other is doing, and both will feel less isolated. They can also set a time aside to do a special activity that they both enjoy together, such as a sport, or hobby. Another common activity could be for the partner to become more involved in business school activities, as most schools have many activities that are suitable for both people in a working relationship.

Another important thing to do is to make sure that the partner staying at home sets independent goals from the partner attending school full time. Whether that is taking a night class, going back to school themselves, or learning a new interest, this will help boost self worth and can dispel feelings of jealousy and inadequacy.

In the end, going back to business school to earn a MBA can be stressful on a relationship, but if you can continue to communicate and enjoy the time that you do have together, it does not have to be the end of a relationship, but rather the beginning of a new, exciting life together.